Tis The Season To Be Mary Part 1

I have been wanting to write about a little ponder I have had for over a month now. With the Christmas season upon us, how appropriate that God would use Mary to teach me about obedience.

"Obedience"....sigh

I had a belief, a judgment, about that four-syllable word that just seemed to prevent me from seeing some things. I could feel the box, but I didn't know exactly what it was. I have been well acquainted with people who abuse that word to either make themselves seem more "spiritual" than the rest of us, or use it to manipulate people into "doing." I just didn't quite understand what it meant. Something always felt yucky when people would use that term and "sacrifice" in the same conversation. I always felt like Jesus is the all-encompassing sacrifice and anything I "offered" was a form of self-righteousness, but then I hear people teaching about the other "side of the coin," and it made a lot of sense too.

I always thought of obedience as "an instruction that you follow." I KNOW that Father has asked me to do things that I wasn't real excited about doing. I even had to make some really tough decisions this year. I know I heard his voice and his instruction, but Gosh! The decisions were not easy. I did it because I knew that even if I didn't know why, I could trust he had my best interest in mind and it would work out for the good, the great, the fantastic. ...and it has and I can see why now, and I am very thankful that I "followed" that voice even though I didn't understand it all. Sometimes it is just the fear of the unknown that might make us hesitate to be "obedient." It made sense to me that Jesus never seemed to heal the same way twice because he was "following" instructions, but I just didn't quite understand why.

I heard Bertie (God love him) speak on grace, and he said something that went a little like, "obedience for people in grace is doing what they want to do." Now that is probably not a direct quote, but whatever he said, when he said it, it felt right. It felt liberating. The fragrance of freedom was in the air, and I grew hungry to taste it again. Once you've tasted true freedom it is difficult to dine on anything less. But it just seemed out of my reach because of the box I had built around my heart in this area. So I did what we all should do when we have questions like this. I asked my Father. The answer didn't come right away, but it came.

I was driving to one of my jobs listening to some good quality God-pong. There was not one thing mentioned about "obedience," but something she said opened up my box and Father dropped a load of revelation into my Spirit that has helped me to see a little more. She read the Christmas story.

I was thinking of "Obedience" all wrong.

This is an example of hearing instruction and following it when I didn't want to: (Boy, is it pertinent!) Sometimes God gives me words from him for people. I got one for a dear friend. There was a lot to it, but I kept hearing just one word over and over and over. That word was, "obedient." The Lord wanted me to tell my friend to be obedient. "Please, No Lord!" I said, because I knew my friend had been beaten, belittled, and abused by that word. I did NOT want to say that, but that is what the Lord said to do. Now I love to cook with a good wooden spoon, but I felt like I was giving a wooden spoon as a gift to someone who had been beaten by one as an innocent child. I hesitated badly, but then I finally, sheepishly told my friend. I wondered at that time if maybe "obedience" is when the hearts of other people were involved. But even that still didn't fit quite right. I was puzzled, and really I still have so much to awaken to.

According to Bertie, (and I agree with him 100%), if I didn't want to do it, there would be a law working in my life somewhere. I followed the instruction, so therefore in my mind, I was obedient. Right? I don't know. Hmmmmmm...

So I was driving down the road listening to a beautiful message on the Christmas story. She read about the Holy Spirit hovering over Mary. When the word of the Lord came, Mary believed it and said, "be it unto me according to your word." Then she became pregnant. Pregnant WITH THE WORD, himself. WOW. The more I meditate on that especially as a mom of three boys, the more bewildered and in awe of how all that went down. She was just a kid. An unmarried girl who was old enough to know how socially unacceptable being pregnant for her would be. I wonder if she thought of that before she received that word? She did hesitate. She questioned the Angel. "How can this be?" ----(more on that in Part 2.)

I love this analogy from Rob Rufus... If I had a tuning fork that I used to tune my piano and then gave the same tuning fork to you so you can tune your piano, our pianos would be in tune to each other even though they were never even around each other. Just like if I am listening to voice of God and you are listening to the voice of God, then we will be tuned to each other.

The Spirit of the Lord was hovering over Mary and she became in tune to it. There was an agreement that took place. Sometimes it is hard for me to interpret God's language of revelation into English, but for pathetic explanation purposes, The Lord was offering her a "possibility" and she agreed with it. The very cells in her body based on her belief system began to sing the same song that was being sung in the Spirit. She responded to the song, creative vibrations, of the Holy Spirit. And when they were in tune...BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! The Word of God, Our Lord and Savior, The Innocent Lamb, The Great I AM, The Beginning and the End, The Truth, The Way, The Life started physically growing inside her. Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy Happy Brand NEW EVERYTHING!!!!!

I realized that I have been viewing "obedience" totally wrong. I thought it was, "an instruction that we follow." But that is not it at all. Obedience is when we come into agreement with the Spirit of the Lord and his desires. Obedience IS grace. The more I awaken to grace, the more what I want IS what He wants because we are singing the same tune. We are the same person. It isn't me any more, it is Christ that lives. Looking back, I can see that the instructions I heard and followed were correct, but my heart wasn't awakened to grace fully in those areas and that is why it felt sacrificey. The more he reveals himself to me, and the more I discover my identity, the more what he wants is what I want. I do because I want to and that's it. It's WE instead of me. The more revelation of the pure grace of God I wake up to, the more taking all the carts back up to kroger as I walk in is an honor to me to bless others. The more going to work everyday is an overwhelming joy for the opportunity. The more getting to pick up my boys' toys and doing laundry is a blessing because we have things to clean up and home to clean them up in. Even listening to their whiny, tired cries is an honor because they feel comfortable enough around me to share their true feelings. Sometimes do I feel like these things are a sacrifice? Yep. You betcha! But I have no doubt in my mind that when I feel that way, somewhere deep down I am operating under law instead of resting in grace. I know the more I wake up to the revelation of his truth, the easier and even more enjoyable life will be. Does that mean that I feel condemned when I think I would rather jump off a cliff than pick up that same pile of mess again? Hope not. Condemnation itself is the chains that bind us to the law. Let's just rest, and be content knowing that we don't have all the answers and don't have to. I do think that is why God even gives us grace for the grace. Even Mary hesitated (for lack of a better word)and she was the chosen mom for God in the flesh. Pretty amazing that God became totally vulnerable and trusted Man completely. That is humbling love right there.

Back to the word I gave my friend... I called right away and told my friend what I now realize "obedience" is and why Father would use that term. It is nothing short of a case of turning ashes into beauty. What someone had meant to use to destroy, the Lord was using the same thing to build and strengthen. Wow! What a good Father our God is! He took the ugly stick----a symbol of worthlessness, and turned it into a symbol of the song that is sung over him by the only voice that matters. I learned so much from that experience and I am so thankful he allowed me to be the messenger of that word..."Obedience."

Doesn't knowing that give a new, wonderful perspective on the verse, "Obedience is better than sacrifice?" (1 Sam 15:22) Yes it does!(I wonder if Mary had felt it was sacrifice if she would have been impregnated? Guess that's another question to ask Dad.)

Big thanks to Mary for her obedience! Tis the season to be Mary!!!!!

Wayne

This is my follow-up Thank-vember to elaborate on point #1....I am thankful for Wayne.

I almost don't even know where to start...

As I write this I am reminded of a time I forced myself to be thankful. (I'm laughing as I remember.) I was washing dishes. Wayne came home from a hard day at work to some really, really, really, really bad news. I did something uber stupid I had to tell him about. He said nothing. I knew he had to be upset, so I encouraged him to tell me what was wrong. (duh.) He still said nothing. I was thinking that if it was me, I would feel better to vent, so I nagged him and nagged him until he spoke. Um.....that was the SECOND dumb thing I did that day. He finally complied. Boy, did I ask for it! LOL! So he stepped out to get some fresh air to figure out how to fix what I had done. (I am so laughing!) And I stood at the sink fuming mad and feeling very stupid for doing that. After a minute or two, I came to the realization that I had a choice to make. I could stay offended or could recover my sight. I knew that if I could list things I was thankful for Wayne for,(because the Lord TOLD me to,) it would help me to get over my petty anger. Um...it took a minute for me to think of one. As I waited for one to pop up out of the mad-cloud, I was thinking, "I'm going to make a list so if I ever get mad again, I can just read my list instead of trying to think of something." But it didn't take long before one came, and then another, and another and another, until suddenly I forgot there had ever even been a fog of negativity. I was overcome with the value of this really great life-fixer I am married to forever. I'm pretty sure that is the last time I have been mad at him. That was about a year and a half or two years ago.

Here are some things on my list....

Sometimes he makes up the bed just before bedtime just because he knows I love that. He could sleep on the raw mattress with a pile of covers wadded up on top of him.

He is a really, really, really, really, really x 100000000 great dad.

If he loves something more than me, I can't tell it.

He loves my family and goes to family events.

He insists I put my cold feet on him under the covers so they can warm up. ...Now THAT is a man!

He wrote me a song....and it's good.

Actually, he writes a lot of songs that are good. He is a true word-smith. I think I want to have a rustic-looking living room someday with the words of his first hit etched into the wood at the top of the wall. Yeah, that would be pretty awesome.

Our boys adore him. They respect him, but can't wait to play with him. They want to sit by him at the table. When he says something, it is law. When mom says something, they might think about it.

Even though I was a stay-at-home mom, he let me sleep in on his days off. And now that I am working, he lets me sleep in on my days off.

He has gotten out of bed on very cold nights because I decided I needed a shower at 2:00 am to fix the water under the house.

He is my laundry man and has been the majority of our marriage.

He ALWAYS goes over the limit we set on gifts for each other at Christmas. I totally don't think this is fair, but I am also not complaining. His gifts are fabulous and well thought out. They are usually creative with a theme.

I love it when he won't put up with drama.

When we take pictures of our boys, Wayne does the funniest stuff even causing himself bodily harm to get them to laugh. He definitely does the hard part, but I always get credit for the picture.

He makes a mean cinnamon toast, and he has certain technique I've noticed to gently tap out the Cinnamon/sugar mixture.

He is content to keep quiet, but when he speaks, a FLOOD of bold revelation accompanies his few gentle words.

He will take verbal abuse as long as he knows it is preventing someone else from getting it.

He hears from the Lord. Oh my gosh he does.

He really likes being a man, and his boys are getting a good example of what it means to be one.

He is a servant as evidenced by it is even coming out in his sons. Luke and I were the only ones left at the supper table. Luke asked to be excused, but before he left, he filled up my cup just because he noticed it was empty. That is the sort of thing he sees his dad do.

He is the most honorable person I know.

He has mastered the grill.

His heart is child-like, but he is very responsible.

He thinks about everything he does and therefore, everything he does is excellent. If he is going to do it, it will be done right.

He teaches me more about the God kind of life by his words and his example than anyone, and does it without thinking I need to be improved. ---That sounds like God to me.

Something pretty amazing happens when he sings.

He is REALLY smart and I'm really thankful our kids get to dip in that gene pool.

He likes to laugh.

He works really hard at whatever he does. He is willing to do whatever he would have to do to make sure our family is provided for. That is really comforting to know he's that way.

Wayne folds laundry during football to justify watching football. Ha Ha Ha!

I love to hear him read bedtime stories.

Our boys know he loves them.

When he prays, sickness goes away.

He thanks me when I take out the trash or pay our bills.

He can complete a days-worth of errands with three boys in about two hours. If you have ever had more than one little kid, you know why this is amazing.

He will watch Backyardigans even though the game is on.

Sometimes I come home late and he and the boys have fallen asleep on the pull-out couch watching a movie.

He never comes to my pity party no matter how strongly I invite him, which helps me to recover to the high road more quickly.

He cries with me especially when we think about how fast the boys are growing up.

He truly, genuinely, purely loves people and has a desire to help them learn to experience their Father's love and hear His voice.

Nothing is more HOT than a man who is not ashamed to worship.

Even though thinking on two things doesn't come easy for the male species, Wayne concentrates hard on what I am saying to the point that he will forget where he needs to turn when he is driving. I really, really love that.

He thinks often about people he wishes he could protect from potentially getting hurt, but honors their freedom to make choices and hear from God for themselves. I really appreciate that about him.

I can trust him to make the right decisions because I know his character and he is motivated by love.

He put up the Christmas tree and we all decorated it.

He is the nicest guy, but he is not easily fooled. He has wisdom beyond his years.

He makes our home pressure-free.

He plays with boys, but their toys are put up at the end of the day. I have no idea how that happens.

When I come home, he is faithful to meet me outside to see if there is anything he can carry in for me.

I've got more to say, but I think I'm going to go crawl next to him in our made-up bed. ....I am just really thankful for him who makes my life sweet and easy because he knows really well the author of the sweet and easy life.