Life With Boys Part 1

I think very often about my life and how it is probably different from at least half of the world. I have boys. Boy oh Boy! I was raised with two brothers. My dad is a great dad. I'm married to a grown-up boy. But now I see that being a mom to boys is a world I was not really prepared for, as if one could be prepared for any sort of parenting. I have come to realize that any household where the female species is outnumbered by at least two males is a much different environment to one where the genders are equal or there are more females. When my boys were smaller, it used to aggravate me that people would stop me and say things like, "Three boys? I bet you have your hands full." or "I raised three boys too. I feel for you, Mama." I heard a whole lot with a pat on the back: "There is a special place in heaven for a mom with three boys." Although I liked that last one, I would think they didn't really know what they were talking about. I knew my boys were good and just as active as any other kid, girl or boy. When I only had two of them, my mom gave me a quote to put on my wall that says, "Boys: n. A noise with dirt on it." I thought it was cute, but at the time when they were just little toddlers, it didn't really mean anything. Um.....now I know! All three of my boys are still preschool, but they can all walk and talk very well. I understand more of why others felt the need to pat me on the back. They are all three still really good, but they are bigger, heavier, more active, and sweat testosterone. The more boys you have, the more the boy-ness is compounded in the next boy and it becomes this strange snowball effect of testosterone. It is puzzling how this happens, but I can tell you I am experiencing an avalanche.

I. HAVE. BOYS! ...and I love it.

Aren't they cuties!

I do sometimes wonder if Father God thought it would be really funny to give me three little boys without a teenage girl first, but like I tell my boys, "You get what you get and don't throw a fit." Oh how I wish I had a teenage girl, even better would be one around nine or ten. It's okay though because I have good ones that I rent from time to time. Wayne is home with them now while I get to work and that is blessing for both of us. Life now is just what the doctor ordered. I can see how and why he set things in motion for our life in this moment. This switch-a-roo has been the best thing for our whole family. I am very thankful. I can already see a difference in all of us.

These are a few things I have learned so far about bringing up boys:

1. Boys really are dirty and loud. My boys even color loud. (Is that possible? I assure it is reality.)

2. Boys run and don't walk.

3. Boys are born with a natural ability for sound effects with their mouths that include but are not limited to all motors, guns, passing gas, and trains.

4. Oh, You are one of those moms who don't believe in buying your boys toy weapons? You can forget that, because they literally don't need them. There are plenty of regular household items that make guns, swords, and a plethora of other fun weapons. Guns are made from things like bananas, 3D alphabet letters("F" is a perfect gun if you hold it horizontally,) and really elaborate guns with multiple barrels are easily constructed from tinker toys. Swords? You name it. Umbrellas, curtain rods, and wooden spoons... Well of course you can't have a sword without a shield! No problem. Trash can and pot lids. Very often I go upstairs to the weapon arsenal A.K.A lower bunk bed stripped from all bedding and loaded with weapons of all shapes and sizes strategically placed. Gasp! Do you teach them this? ....nope. Boys are born with this.

5. Boys speak a unique language. We often get to use fun vocabulary words in everyday conversation such as, "Portal, vortex, secret-passage-way, booby trap, butt-ticks, and bungle." (Bungle is actually a bad word they made up that we think means, "bung hole.")

6. NEVER, and I mean NEVER, buy a new couch.

7. Invest stock in Magic Erasers. Use them to clean up the messes you can. Treasure the memories of the ones you can't. From personal experience I can tell you that these little cleaning devices even work on faces. Yes...I have used a magic eraser on a face. It was an emergency. When Luke was two-years-old, he decided he needed to use a permanent red marker to draw stripes on his face just before we were headed out for something important where permanent red on the face would be disastrous. It even went across his eye-lid. I tried all the gentle stuff first. Soap would not touch it. I even tried alcohol to no avail. So I pulled out the magic eraser. I rubbed it on my face first and it felt ok. It took the red right off, and he never complained once. I guess I wouldn't make a habit of it, but in emergencies, you got to do what you got to do.

8. Boys love their mamas, but they need their dads or a least some significant boy time with a grown up who understands how they think. My boys have a great dad, fantastic grandfathers, and really cool and fun uncles.

9. It's a good thing I read "Bringing Up Boys" by Dobson. I really didn't love that book, but I did learn some valuable things about being a boy mama. I'm sure Dr. James is a nice guy and has helped a whole lot of peep, but this book was a real Debbie Downer. I guess we all walk in the light that we have, but parts of this book literally made feel guilty for bringing a child into this world. That was unnecessary in my opinion. However, I did learn something very important. Boys go through two developmental stages whereas girls go through one. Girls and boys both go through puberty, but boys go through one between ages 18 months or so to five years (I think) where they make a mental separation that they are different from their moms and begin to identify more with the males they are around. All three of mine are in this age. What a blessing that their dad is willing to stay home with them during this time. There has been a huge difference in our little guys since the big guy took on the primary parent role.

10. Boys can only think about one thing at a time. If they are busy and do not respond to your voice, touch them and speak. They literally may not hear you. They are wired differently.

11. Don't try to tell two or more stories at one time. You just confuse and frustrate them. Their brains do not multitask like girl's brains. You'll just end up trying to explain yourself or repeat both the stories again separately. Just simplify stories the first time to save you all the trouble.

12. If it can be climbed on, it will be climbed on. If it is impossible to climb, it will also be climbed on.

13. Boys are confident to accessorize their outfits and costumes. Machine guns in their underwear. Capes and rain boots any time. Swords always, even when they have nothing on but a bath towel. One time we were about to eat spaghetti for supper and Jack insisted on putting on different clothes. I didn't want this because I knew whatever he wore would get sauce all over it. I thought he might as well wear the dirty one that he had on. But I allowed him to change. When he returned to the table, he was shirtless, sporting a sword tucked in his pants, a Spiderman web launcher on one wrist, shin guards, wrist guard, and elbow guards, 9 jelly bracelets, and a camouflage hat.

14. Everything and I mean everything is a train or can be converted easily to one. Sound effects, remember, are included in the boy.

15. "Punch" is quality time for the male species and must be done shirtless with socks on the hands. And you have to say, "ding, ding" before the first punch in thrown. It occurs on the king-sized mattress with all bedding piled into the floor around the bed.

16. Sometimes there literally are not words I can find to say and all that I can muster to come out is, "Aaaaaaaah!"

17. The dryer makes an excellent hiding spot.

18. Everything is a competition. When I say everything I mean everything. Even the day a person was born. According to my boys, Ben has a better birthday because he was born on July 22, and 22 is bigger than June 3 or October 12. ...I'm not kidding.

19. Apparently, boys never stop growing. If you are 60, you are "bigger" than someone who is 40. This is very important to four-year-olds in ways I cannot explain.

20. A king bed is not big enough.

21. Expect the unexpected like matchbox cars in your lab coat pocket. Name writing practice on nutritional assessments. Treasure map drawings on that bill you were fixing to mail. Toothpicks in the cracks of tables. Any small item you've misplaced for weeks will be under the seat of a riding toy. Or my personal favorite...Mr. Potato Head's arm in the electrical socket. Oh. My. Gosh!

22. Cranky. Noun. Messed up or imperfect. As in, "The creased paper is cranky." or "Jack made my bed cranky, and I already made it up."

23. Brothers LOVE. They are only an average of 18 months apart. They are very close. They might get mad at each other, but they love each other more than they love anything. Watching them is a sight to behold and lesson for sure.

24. Boys make up games that mamas do not find funny. Seriously, sometimes I just have to leave the room. Wayne taught them how to spray the wood floor with a little furniture polish and slide with sock feet. (I'm cuss-laughing under my breath.) "Oh it was safe before you got home. We slid into pillows and blankets."

25. Boys jump and swing on everything, but especially other people. It was cute and hardly noticeable when they were just little toddlers. Now that the combined weight is over a hundred pounds, I have to stay on my toes. If I bend down to pick up something off the floor, I can most likely expect at least one of them to pounce on my back. Never turn your back to a boy who is on a higher elevation than you are. Be ready if they are above you on the stairs coming down. Oh they'll get you when you least expect it.

26. Boys teach you how to let things go and just enjoy life. Just what I needed.

27. It doesn't matter how old the boy gets. Farts are ALWAYS funny. So funny in fact they will lose their breath laughing. In fact, the funniest thing on the planet is anything that has to do with bodily functions.

This precious laughy picture was made possible because Ben ripped a big loudy just as Jack laid his head down on his rear.

28. Nothing is sweeter than a little boy snuggle bug. One time I was woken up because Luke gave me a kiss as he was snuggling in our bed. I couldn't even tell who it was until I asked the next morning.

29. "More Powerful" is used to define rank. For example, Daddy is more powerful than Mama. Luke is more powerful than Ben. Jack is more powerful than the bug.

30. "A little bit fast" means slow.
"A little bit loud" means quiet.

31. Boys just know how to sword fight, upper cut, and be crass. Teaching is required to undo these things.

32. Boys know how to do things I don't understand how or why. Like, Why did Luke tell me that I needed to get gasoline to help me get the paint off counter?

33. "Superheros go to weddings."

34. Expect on-purpose tumbles and falls complete with sound effects and exaggerated movements like you might see in a animated cartoon. This is done for personal satisfaction of the boy, and an offering of entertainment for the observer. Kramer is an over sized five-year-old.

35. No matter where you are, they will find the race track. Running in circles through rooms and around furniture is just part of the daily routine and as natural as breathing.

36. Boys are worth it. They are my greatest teacher.

Prophecy Gift

I've had a stirring to jot down some things about prophecy for many, many months. I cannot claim to "know" anything, but I do have a passion for the prophetic. The more I learn about it, the more intrigued I become. I had a dream a few months ago like I have never had before. In it I was instructing others on prophecy and also giving words to four ladies. What is cool is that I really believe the four ladies represented me so I was really speaking to myself. (I love dreams. The stranger the better.) Other than the Bible and some dream-interpretation books, I have actually never read a book about prophecy, however recently I have purchased some I am excited to read.

I have had some Teachers that I admire in this area and want to share about them.

First, Mary Dorian. I cannot say enough good things about her. She is the real deal, and I am so honored to call her friend. She is the first person I ever saw minister to others with the prophetic gift. She is always kind and full of love. She is someone that Wayne and I trust to speak into our lives regularly. She is a safe place. Love her. Love her. Love her.

Second, Ryan Rufus. He is a great teacher and is the associate pastor for City Church Hong Kong. When I needed some spiritual advice, he responded. I was astounded at his accuracy and insight. He's got some great teachings on prophecy on their website: http://ccihk.com/

Third is Isi De Gersigny. She is a recent acquaintance, and I'm in total love with the God that shines through her. I could listen to her all day speak on the prophetic. She is kind and gentle and gorgeous. She pastors Jubilee International Church in Sydney Australia with her husband Fini. http://www.jubilee.org.au/ Pretty much every message she preaches has some sort of prophetic teaching.

Finally, Melissa Flores. I haven't ever had any personal contact with her, but I enjoy her blog called, "Defining Words." http://definingwords.com/ Most things are over my head, but some things have really changed my perspective in regard to the supernatural.

So here are some "things" I've learned...

1. There are no rules. People who teach their are rules about prophecy do not know what they are talking about in my experience. The way they describe their gift may be accurate for them, but not you. It is inappropriate to box God in.

2. Having said that, here is rule number one....A word from God will ALWAYS be lovely because he is love. If there is even a hint of judgmental, condemnation, accusatory crap, it is NOT from God PERIOD.

3. Having said that, it doesn't mean that every word from the Lord will be sunshine and rainbows. There have been a few and I mean like two or three words tops that I have ever gotten for other people that felt harsh. Really, I only judge them to be harsh out of my own personality. God knows what they need to hear. One in particular was a very strong warning about the person's behavior and where their life would end up if they continued. I just meditated on that word for over a month before I felt comfortable to tell the person just because I wanted to be extra sure that it was from God. I didn't want to even speak anything out like that unless I was sure. So I finally gave the person the word in private. Even though I thought the word had a negative slant to it, she felt so honored that God in heaven would warn her because he cared about her. She was truly touched and truly changed. It is the goodness of God that brings people to a place to change. She felt loved by him. God knew what he was doing even thought I didn't. Giving that word taught me loads about his love for people because apparently I don't know much.

4. The instruction on how to deliver it comes with the word. Sometimes you get a word and might feel like you can post it on facebook. Sometimes you tell in front of a small group. Sometimes you tell in front of large group. Sometimes you tell in private. Sometimes you tell in front of their parents. Sometimes you write it in a letter. Sometimes it doesn't matter how you deliver it. When in doubt, just wait. Sometimes all God wants you to do is pray about it for the person. Maybe they never need to know.

5. Prophecy looks like a lot of different things. Sometimes it is a verbal word. Sometimes a song. Sometimes a vision. Sometimes a painting. Sometimes a dream. Sometimes a dance. Sometimes a trance. Sometimes for yourself. Sometimes for a friend. Sometimes for the world. Maybe you see angels or hear them. Sometimes you just know what to pray. Maybe you smell a scent from heaven. Just as it is inappropriate to box in God, the same goes for prophecy.

6. The way I think of the prophetic is that you see or experience the supernatural. I believe that the Bible tells us to desire prophecy because we speak out Father's heart into the earth. Wow!

7. The difference between a gift of prophecy and a prophet. Um....I've heard teachings on this that I do not agree with. I have to go out on a limb here and say there is no difference. It's the same thing. This is my meager analogy. My sister is an expert cake baker. She has made wedding cakes, all my boys birthday cakes, etc. She makes cakes because she enjoys it. She has a passion for it. She does it for love. If you asked her what she does for a living, she would tell you that she is a high school teacher. But there are many wonderful cake decorators who actually have a full time job baking and selling cakes. Does that mean that because they get paid for what they do that their cakes look better and taste yummier? Nope. Both are just as wonderful.

This is why I think there is no difference. Any gift from the Lord is an act of love. A thirteen year old girl gave me a word from God once with tears streaking down her face that was five English words long. It has been a big source of hope for me and I still cling to it. Then you have these people who prophecy about major world events. Both are cool. Both are powerful. Both are demonstrations of love. One is not "harder" than the other because nothing is hard for God. If both are from God, and both are acts of love, how can we say one is greater? Do we really think we can categorize love? Love is love is love. Categorizing anything from God, in my opinion, sows lack into the people who God says lacks nothing. Don't do that. Don't sow lack. Sow love. Someone who hears an angel sing, or smells fragrance from heaven, or has a vivid dream is experiencing just as much God as someone who falls into a trance for forty days and wakes up with lots to tell. Love is love. There are no levels in love.

8. Interpreting prophecy.... Don't add to what God says. It's fine to not know the answer. I've heard before that "people shouldn't give a word if they don't have the interpretation." FALSE! God will tell you all you need to know. I like it when I see a vision and God gives me the interpretation because I also get to share in their word, but sometimes the interpretation is absolutely none of my business. Just share what you know. Many, many, many times I got a vision for someone without the interpretation. You know what? They know the interpretation. God knows what they need. One time I had a word for someone, but God told me the person who would interpret it. So I gave the gentleman the word, and told him who would interpret it. That's exactly what happened too, and the interpretation was amazing. Team work!

9. If someone keeps popping up into your mind, that is a big clue to slow down and either pray for them or see what the Lord wants you to do. The same with songs, or clips from movies, or scenes from your own past. Ask the Lord why you keep thinking on those things.

10. Stay open for anything. I heard Isi give a powerful word once that the Lord showed her through street signs as she traveled down the road. He's just cool like that. He's a super fun God. He just wants to talk to us because he loves us. He'll use all kinds of fun methods.

11. Prophetic words will be confirmation. If it doesn't bear witness, simply disregard it. I almost always tell a person that what God says in them or shows them means more than what I say. If it doesn't confirm or bear witness, then just disregard it. I especially say that when I am helping someone with their dream.

I have personally gotten words that were good words, but I did not want to hear. (This was back in the days I thought it was appropriate to be judgmental.) Mary told me a word that I felt offensive about because in my mind, "that person doesn't deserve that." or whatever bull crapola I was thinking. (I'm so thankful I am not that person anymore. I actually thought I was free! DISGUST!) Anyway, I think she could feel my obstinacy to the word she spoke out. I've felt the same obstinacy from others before. But that word WAS from the Lord and it planted something in my heart that made my heart start softening up toward the person. It has come to pass. Wow! Thank God for his word.

12. Be faithful over what he shows you. It's not your word, it's the Lords. If they reject it, it is not you they are rejecting. Don't ever think you did something wrong if someone starts accusing you. If your heart has good intentions, God will cover you. It's impossible to fail with a pure heart.

13. If you don't know what to do, you are in a perfect place. It is actually really easy. You hear what he tells you or shows you, and then you do it. The hardest part for me was getting over myself.

14. Also, I once had a lot of pressure on me to "perform" using the gift. God told me not to. His instruction for me was to not do anything. He said that he was sowing into me like a dammed river lake. One day he would open the flood gates. It took away the pressure. I knew what my Father had said, so when the pressure from others came, I didn't care what they thought. I think I didn't give any words for about six months. Then one day Wayne and I were driving to minister somewhere and God told me that I would be ministering to them with the gift of prophecy. Whoa! It was so much fun. Best fun ever. The dam gates were opened and it just gushed out in an atmosphere of freedom. God works with us as individuals. There is no formula. Formula equals magic. God is love, not magic.

15. How do you know if you have the gift of prophecy? Then answer this question....Do you want it? Then you have that gift of prophecy. God's given us all of him. We lack nothing. Love people first. Everything else will fall into place. We love people because we know God loves us. That's it. Easy Greasy.

16. When I first started realizing I had this gift, I would get physical sensations. Like sometimes I would sort of ache in a part of my body and know that someone was hurting there and God wanted to heal them. Or often I felt like I wanted to throw up or just start shaking. I think this happened for training purposes. It was sort of an outward cue that I could associate with the voice of my Father to share the gift. Now that my confidence has grown in his voice, I don't have those symptoms any more. The more confident that we hear his voice and know him apart from ourselves, the easier and sweeter it becomes because we rest and trust him more and more. I do not doubt his voice any more, but I used to. Even in doubting, you can't go wrong with a message of loveliness and a pure heart. Jesus covers us. Love covers us.

17. Sharing the gift strengthens us and the receiver simultaneously. so cool. I love heavenly mathematics. The more you give away, the bigger it gets.

18. You don't need any person to teach you. You have the Holy Spirit who is our teacher. What you might need is a little encouraging that you do indeed hear your father's voice. It's your right to hear him as a child of God.

19. One very cool thing about prophecy is how it can wipe out a voice of accusation. Accusation, judgment, condemnation and guilt can keep a person smashed down in a pit of despair. One word and I mean only one, can jerk them up out of that pit and onto the mountain top. It's happened to me a lot. sometimes it could be as simple as a hug.