Happy Birthday Ben-Dudey

 This child is edible.

If he was an ice cream flavor, he would be called, "Momma's Dream."  

I am pretty much wrapped around  his pinky finger and he knows it. 

 
 Ben is the biggest surprise of all three surprises.  I thought something might be "wrong" and took a pregnancy test at 3:00 in the morning on December 1st.  I was shocked.  I woke Wayne up, but then left to a see about a crying 12-month-old baby Jack.  When I returned to bed, Wayne rolled over and said, "I had a weird dream..."   But it wasn't a dream!   We refer to December 2008 as "Black December."  That time in our life was completely full of pressure and another baby was on the way.  Whoever said, "It's all the same after two kids," LIED.  But you get what you get and don't throw a fit!

If we had known what a precious little treasure we were baking up, it would not have been bad at all.

God told me that this baby would teach us about grace...and he does EVERY SINGLE DAY! He's a text book.  We learn from him. 

Luke was 37 months old when Ben was Born.  Jack was 20 months old.  Ben was not planned AT ALL.  There were some complications.  If Ben had not come when he did, we would not have him today.  There is no doubt.  This child was a serious and humongously fantastic gift.

When Ben was about ten-months-old, he stood up in his high chair.   After telling him to sit down, I  tapped on his diaper to get him to sit.   Luke and Jack thought I was spanking him, and I got in BIG trouble.  They both scooted their chairs on either side of Ben.  When he would stand up, they would put their little hands on his bottom as they finished their lunch. The rest of the day they kept him out of trouble.  That has been Ben's whole life.

"AMEN!!!!"

Ben LOVES his spot in the family.  He was born to be the baby.  He soaks up pampering like sponge immersed in water.  Just like a saturated sponge gets everything wet, so does love from a Ben-dudey.  To be honest, I had some concerns that our little Shacocoa would grow up to be a man-sized baby.  All those fears disappeared when a little girl came to visit one day, and I watched how Ben used all his stored-up pampering to pamper her all day long.  He will let you love on him as much as you want.  Then it is effortless for him to love on other people.  His very presence is one of grace.   He was born to enjoy life.  He forgives easily and pressures of life disappear in his presence.  The child is precious. ...And completely spoiled.

 Ben is definitely different than his brothers.  He didn't walk or talk as early.  His words were not clear for a long time.  He is always cutting a shine, but the day we had him "evaluated" he decided to pretend he was lifeless.  After seeing Ben in a vegetative state, the evaluator became irate and said, "That's Ben and you are just now calling me ?!?!?!!!!!!"  "Um...no, Sir.  He doesn't normally act like that."  The concerned child development expert didn't believe me until Ben popped up with a Nerf gun and shot him smack in the face.  Yep....he's just fine.  I think my favorite question the man asked me was, "Can Ben help you dress him?"  My response was, "Well?  Technically he can, but does he?  Um...nope."  Ben just loved for someone to dress him just like he STILL loves for us to feed him. He is smarter than he lets on. He doesn't get his worth from what he can do or how smart he is or how strong he is.  He just loves being him.

Ben sees daddy is home.

 Luke and Jack fight over how to "raise" Ben.  Ben LOVES the attention.  I don't know how this happened, but Luke seriously thinks that Ben is supposed to get his way.  Jack thinks it's an honor to let Ben show his independence and do things himself.  Luke and Jack told us once that they are always going to live at our house.  "That's fine."  We told them.  "But if you decide you want to move out, get married, and have babies when you grow up then that will be fine too."  Jack said, "We don't need to have babies.  We have Ben."  

 When Ben grows up he wants to be a kid...or "Tid" as he calls it.   Ben teaches us that grace is freedom from all rules, laws, and even expectations.  It is living from who you are, enjoying life, feeling content, and allowing yourself to be simply loved.  Ben's little nature lives life so easily.   He loves to be little. He is content....ALWAYS content.  He is the most easy going kid I know.  

Ben will get into trouble with the best of them.  He checks to see who is charge.  He can turn on the whine as easy as he can turn on the shine.  But at the end of the day, this child could not be easier.    

Ben and Uncle Ben

 
Ben talks nonstop and on one volume  ....LOUD!  We know if it's Ben waking up in the middle of the night because he gets into the refrigerator before coming to our bed.   He is super funny.  He can repeat something not funny that someone just said and turn it into something to make people laugh.  He's even funny when he's mad.  We literally go into stores or restaurants and people watch him and giggle.  Daily I hear some stranger say, "He is so precious!"   
  
Ben says things to me like, "Mom, when I'm finished eating, I'm going to go outside and hold your hand."   He'll just sit and rub on my back.  He used to say, "My turn."  Then he would give me a kiss.  Then he would say, "Your turn."  and expect me to kiss on him.  He loves on me all the time.  He'll give away everything he owns just because he knows it will make someone happy.  I've never seen such an easy-going child.  BUT he's also the baby.  Widdle Jadodey.   He doesn't exactly act like a big boy when another baby comes to take his spot.  But just as usual....it's pretty funny to watch.

Ben's First Train Ride

One of the biggest revelations I've ever learned about God's kingdom came to me when I saw how Ben sees the world.  Ben sees the world in Happy or Sad.  It's his core.  Everything he does comes out of this perspective.  He FEELS.   He desires happiness and it makes him happy to make others happy.  He says and does whatever it takes to make the world around him happy. He doesn't like the book, "The Monster At The End of This Book" because Grover isn't happy until the end. The first time Wayne read that book to him, I wish I would have had a video camera.  You would have thought he was watching an execution each time he turned a page.  At the end of the book when Grover realizes that the monster at the end of the book is in fact Grover, Ben gave out a laugh of releif, and says, "Oh he's happy!" 

Making Salsa

We have actually had a hard time with him because of The happy and sad thing.   If we ask him a question, he wants to say what he thinks will make everybody happy whether it is the truth or not. It could last for hours, but wen Ben finally tells us the truth, he will ask, "Did I tell the truth?" It's like he has no concept of that.  He doesn't think in"right or wrong". He thinks in "happy or sad." That is some pretty big stuff we learn from a little Chacoto.

 I remember one time I was having a Mommy-fit.  Two toddlers into stuff, lots of expectations  on myself and a baby Ben Jude woke up early from his nap.  I was having a bad day and tired to hold it in.  I'm pretty sure I either slammed a door, threw a pillow at the wall, or maybe kicked the stairs or something as I went to get that baby out of bed.  I was just about to have as much as I could take.  The pressure was on and the top about to explode.  I opened the door and saw that innocent baby oblivious to anything except contentment.  He was standing in his crib waiting patiently on me to come.  He welcomed me with the biggest grin ever.  I was smacked in the face with a real presence of grace and began to weep the "imaginary" pressures away.  Ben always knows what is really important without really knowing it. 

 Ben refers to his brothers as, "My Boys."  He is like a real live baby doll.  He loves to be rocked, cuddled, and sung to.  He will literally let you hold him as long as you want.  He has no agenda.  He's just restful and content and enjoyable.

When Luke was born, I felt like we were raising him for other people.  When Jack was born, I felt like we were raising him for the world.  I felt like Ben was born just for us.  Happy 4th Birthday to our baby Ben-Dudey. 

Benjamin Jude: "Son of The Right Hand.  Worthy of Praise."