My Side of Our Story

I really like my other half. He's the best. (Must be said in the voice of Nacho.) We've learned some stuff about marriage that makes this Trophy Life. I intend to share a lot about those things in the future, so I think it would only be proper to first share our how-we-hooked-up story. I love this story! This is sincerely how I remember the events that occurred over 12.5 years ago...

I have had a crush on him since the third grade. He was one year older than me and in the classroom of my best friend's mom. When I would ride home with her after school, I remember stories she would tell us about him. I had a crush on the idea of him. He was a best friend of my first cousin who was also in his class. I watched him grow up from a distance. The more I learned about him, the more infatuated I became.

When he was a sophomore, he went on a school trip to Europe with mom and brother. After the trip, my mom came back singing his praises and had so many stories to tell about how much he added to their enjoyment of the trip. I remember my little brother saying, “I wouldn’t mind if you married him.” But at that time, marriage and even dating was the farthest thing from my mind. Not ever considering the possibility of having a relationship with him, I went about my growing pains. Everyone I dated knew I had a “thing” for him. He intrigued me, but I never pursued him perhaps because I couldn’t imagine myself with him.

The Most Embarrassing Day of My Life...
My Junior year, one of my dear friends had a chemistry class with him. She had overheard a conversation between he and his friend. His friend wanted to ask this girl out, but only as double date. My friend told him he should ask me out because I had liked him forever. My friend came to tell me as soon as her class was over. I was nervous and excited and mortified and thrilled at the same time. What if he did ask me out? I didn’t think I could handle it because I get so tongue-tangled whenever he came around. I had never even spoken to him before. If he did ask me, I thought it would just be as a favor to her and because he needed to find someone for the double date anyway. I didn’t really think he would be interested in me, but just the thought of getting a chance to know him was too great to think about. But what if he asked me for Saturday night?

There was one major problem. I had recently had a tough break up with a boy and were still “trying to be friends.” (Yeah right! That NEVER works!!!) We had an “outing” planned on Saturday night. Our “date” was going to consist of a visit to his farm. His horse had recently given birth, and I had never seen a newborn foal before. Then we were going to go out to eat and to the movies. Because my friend/date knew about my major crush (just as everyone did at school), I asked him if we could postpone our date if he asked me out for Saturday night. He said that if I broke our date, he would never speak to me again. Because it was rather rude of me to consider breaking my plans, and because he was such a good friend, and I thought there would be no future with the amazing guy because I didn’t think I was his type, I decided that I would not break my date if asked.

That week I tried my best to avoid being asked out so there would be no chance he would ask me for Saturday night. But one day, during lunch, I was walking through the hall trying to hide behind my friends. He was sitting in the floor along the wall with his ENTIRE class who were all Seniors. My first cousin was sitting beside him on the floor. He yelled my name and motioned for me to come. I panicked. (To say I panicked is an understatement. My mind totally went away. I immediately began to get nervous, but I walked over there and squatted down beside him. (Can you say, DORK! I squatted!) I was thinking about the words I would answer if he asked, “Would you like to go out sometime?” or “Would you like to go out Saturday?” With the most part of his senior class listening and my friends watching from a distance, he asked, “WHAT are you doing Saturday night?” I had not prepared for this question. In a matter of seconds thousands of possible answers flooded my mind. I wanted to answer him literally, but why did he have to use the words “What are you doing?” I definitely had plans but I didn’t want to say “I have plans” because he might want me to be more detailed. I didn’t want him to know I have another date because he might ask me who with. I didn’t want to tell him that I am going to the movies because he might say, “Why don’t you go with me?” What could I say that would be completely honest without leading into more questions and that wouldn’t make me feel like I was exposing myself to the entire senior class. I answered him quickly and honestly, “I have to go see a horse.” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I will never forget the look on my cousin’s face and the gasps of all the seniors that sat on the floor. As soon as the words left my lips, I felt like I wanted to die. I couldn’t think of anything else to say or do, so I just got up and hurried away.

Everyday from that moment on, that memory haunted my mind. I had missed my chance to know him and I had acted so stupidly. I never felt bad for him because I thought it didn’t really matter to him if I said yes or not. Seriously he could have had any girl even though he doesn't believe me. Girls talk. I was completely humiliated in front of everyone who watched me that day and I did nothing to redeem myself because I thought it would be impossible to do so. I did go on my date, but the entire time I was thinking about him. Years later I found out that it crushed him(of course) and he didn’t ask anyone else out for the double date which meant the other guy and girl also never got together.

I continued through the rest of my high school career regretting the day I turned him down. I dated other people but kept up with what he was doing as I always had. He was still good friends with my cousin and I was friends with other girls he dated. I was extremely jealous of my friends he dated.

Recovery Attempts...
After my freshman year of college, I had been dating someone for three years, but at this time we were “seeing other people.” I still had a big crush and still regretted the “horse” deal severely. My cousin and he were in a band together. My Pen Pal from Germany had come to spend three months with me. I kept finding myself in situations near him. My cousin invited her to come to some gigs they were playing so we often heard him play. I also figured out that he checked his e-mail in a computer lab near my 9:00 class. I often skipped class just for the chance to “bump” into him. Sometimes I would try to hang around my cousin and his group of friends for a possible lunch invitation that never happened. When I became single, I made it a point to announce my relationship status in conversations I thought he might overhear. My efforts were in vain. School ended, and I never got a second chance. I had still barely even spoken to him at all since the “horse” bit.

The Summer Before English Class...
During the next summer, my mom went to the Christian Bookstore where he worked. She asked him about a book she was buying for me about “Why Christians Suffer.” He told her to have me call him to talk about it. So of course I called. I couldn't wait to call. It was a summer night. We talked for at least two hours about everything, but mostly God stuff and it was fantastic. It was getting late and two of my best friends and I had planned to visit our friend in the hospital. I had to get off the phone with him, but I did not want to. The time flew by so quickly when were talking. I explained I would be leaving for Germany soon to visit my German Buddy. He told me he would love to hear about my trip when I got back. He also invited me to two upcoming events with a college church group he was acquainted with. He wouldn't be at the first one. I went to both the events. I took my sister and two kids her age (about 14 years old) to the second event he told me about. He showed up as he said he would, but he brought a girl. I was crushed! I did not know they were only good friends.

I left for Germany and returned one or two weeks before school started. I had decided that I would never date anyone ever again except the one I was going to marry. But after a week or so, I ran into an old acquaintance in town who said he would like to get together. I said ok thinking it would be a friend thing. My parents and friends were telling me it wasn’t a friend thing. When my dad told me to beware of him, I took the advice even though I was still convinced he just wanted to hang as friends. (My dad rarely intervened with that sort of thing.) The acquaintance had mentioned getting together after my classes on Monday.

It was the first Monday of school. I walked into class and saw him sitting there. I think I knew he was taking that class. I am not sure. I may have even arranged my schedule to squeeze that class in. I wouldn't doubt it, but I honestly do not remember. Either way, seeing him in class was a wonderful shock. I sat behind him and we talked. I told him that sometime I would like to tell him about my Germany trip. (It was a good excuse to be with him anyway.) That night we were dismissed from class very early. He invited me to spend some time with him. My plans with the other guy were not definite. I was thankful for the early dismissal and the chance to spend some time together. We went to Taco Bell and then sat in the children book section of Book Works and pondered. We really had a serious conversation about my experiences in Germany and what he was going through with his female friend I saw him with at the church thing. It was nice. We were instantly great friends. I think I even apologized for the horse. We had another Monday Class and spent some time together when were dismissed early.

He had a birthday that week. Although I was nervous and felt out of line. I bought a little toy rocket to take to his apartment. He had friends over including my cousin. I was so embarrassed, and the toy didn’t even work. It didn’t fly right and broke when it hit the sidewalk in front of his apartment. I explained I just wanted to drop the present and say Hi, but I needed to go. I’ll never forget the look on his face. I liked him for it. Before I left, he made sure he gave me a hug. I thought I was going to melt into the pavement. (He still hugs that way. I call it the God-touch.)

Still Just Friends?...
The “acquaintance” finally caught up with me. We made a “date,” but I told him that I had invited other people to meet us there. (Actually, I invited just about everybody I knew.) The acquaintance picked me up at my house and gave me a rose. I knew I had made a mistake about it being just a "friend" thing. (Glad I listened to the people who loved me.) We went to the movies and met several of my friends there. He showed up looking so hot in his cool baseball cap. I wished I was on this “date” with him. I remember telling the acquaintance/date that he was my best friend. He sat behind me and I wanted so badly to sit beside him. After the movie he invited all of us to his apartment. My date and I went. But “date” wanted to leave very early. We left and I explained to him that I was not interested in dating anyone. He said he appreciated me telling him right off the bat, and he took me home. I went inside and called "my best friend" under the guise of wanting to talk to another friend I had left at his apartment. She wasn’t there, and I was glad because I really just wanted to talk to him. We did talk.

Labor Day came and we didn’t have class. I had heard about Cumberland Falls from a patient I worked with at my part-time job. I decided to get a big hiking trip together to go to the falls before I had surgery on my ankle to remove the hardware from a broken leg I got sliding into 2nd base in the championship game my Senior year. (I was safe, but we lost the game. That's another good story.) Fortunately, everyone I invited to go hiking must have heard from the Lord and canceled. It was only the two of us. I thought we were just great friends. Was I naive or what?!?!?! We went swimming in the river. I thought the river was pushing us together, but I found out later he was doing that on purpose!

Friday I woke up and told my parents that my surgery was scheduled for that day. I don't think they were happy about that. I actually didn't think it would be a big deal. No one was with me in the hospital room, and it made the nurses cranky. I had my surgery and woke up in the middle of it. They knocked me back out, and when I woke up again, I was still very groggy. I could tell I was back in my hospital room and he was there praying over me. Even though I was still out of it, I can remember talking with him and feeling wonderful that he was there. I think he even called my dad to come and get me. I’m not sure what happened next, but I remember that he apologized because he had plans that night.

We continued to become better friends in just a few weeks. He had mentioned to me that he didn’t think God wanted him to marry so he could concentrate on his music ministry. I knew I didn’t want to date anyone except God and that he was not the one for me, so I had to pray a lot for God to take the feelings I had for him away. One night at his apartment, I was leaving and he told me that during the summer, I kept popping into his mind. As he twisted on his stool, he said he thought, “Surely I don’t have a crush on her!” (yeah..great. Thanks.) Then he said the scripture came to him from Philipians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” He said that is why he was thinking of me. Of all the times he embraced my soul, this time did not compare. I was dizzy.

My family was beginning to get to know him better too. My fourteen-year-old sister told me as we were walking one night, “I wouldn’t mind marrying him.” He would often drive me home after class because I was having vehicle problems. He found out my mom would drop me off at school and then he volunteered to bring me home. I remember one night sitting on the back of his tailgate after arriving to my house. It was chilly out and we were huddled together. He told me I smelled good. I told him he felt good. And I still thought we were just friends. (This naive way of thinking made him ULTRA protective over me during our first years of marriage, and I'm not even kidding a little. He was so afraid I would be trusting of some weirdo. I've significantly improved.)

He's Getting Married!....
One night we went to a prayer thing at an apartment with a Church group. A lady whom was sort of a mentor to me, was there praying for people, giving words of knowledge and prophecies. She prayed for us all, but he was last in line. She said a whole bunch of really awesome stuff, but the main thing was that she could see his wife and that she was kind of short and described her a bit. My heart sank. I KNEW I was not the one she described for him. He was going to be getting married! We were just starting to be great friends. I had prayed for a friend, and now he would be taken away from me by his future wife. I was not happy for him! He, on the other hand, was ecstatic. He was grinning from ear to ear and giddy. He kept hugging me saying how excited he was. He had thought he was not supposed to marry, and now he knew God was going to give him a wife.

I became a groupy to his band. One of the early gigs I attended was at a Church in a small town about twenty miles away. I invited my aunt to go with me. After the show, I didn’t want to stick around to bother him and the guys, especially because he was SURROUNDED by chicks! I motioned “bye” to him. He parted the sea of females, and came to give me a hug, thanked me for coming, and met my aunt. I was very honored that he did that for me. He apologized for not being able to visit, then we left.

After the next Monday night English class, we drove together in his truck to his apartment. We were sitting there talking when his phone rang. It was a girl from that small-town gig. She said she was at the Murder Mart and knew he lived close by. She invited herself to come over. He lived just across the street from there. She came and talked like I was not in the room for hours! The purpose for her visit was very obviously to get him to ask her out. I was stuck because I had no vehicle. I left it on campus. She made a comment about a guy she turned down. He said, “the worst rejection I ever had was when someone told me she had to go see a horse.” I was so embarrassed, but the girl didn’t know it was me. She made terrible comments about how that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard, and how she would never say something like that to him. I sat there like I was invisible. I honestly must have been. They then engaged into a conversation about a chair in the living room. He told her he named it, which happened to be the name of my sister. She said, “You like that chair enough to name it?” He said, “Well she is ok, but she is a little young. Maybe she has an older sister.” I began to get nervous. I KNEW that I could never be worthy of him, and he was implying things in his conversation to that girl. She finally left around 1:00am. She never knew he was talking about me, and she never acknowledged I was there.

I immediately began joking with him that she fit the description of the prophecy for his wife. She MUST be the one for him. He kept insinuating that I was the one. I told him that I really liked him and had to pray to God to take the feelings I had for him away, but that I did not want to date him unless he married me. He said, "Okay." He said, "Okay!"

We stayed up all night talking about what that meant. It was a very serious and intimate conversation. He even showed me some pictures he had of his late mother and some things he wrote about her. He finally took me to my car. I had morning classes. I remember feeling very strange on the inside, but also peaceful as he hugged me next to my car while the sun was rising over campus. The drive home was long. I had a lot to think about.

The first REAL week...
That was a fun week. We were an “item.” We kept seeing each other at school. He drove me to his home on the mountain for the first time. We sat close on a bluff he likes to go to. He kept putting his face on mine, but I didn't get it. He was trying to kiss me, but DUH! I just was so naive! That was a Wednesday.

Thursday we had our first "together" date. We went to a "revival" service of a church that had put a flier on his truck. KA-RAZY! There were only about ten people there. Funny, funny story and one we will never forget about the “going ons” there. I don't think they had ever had a visitor. When the Pastor decided to help himself to the drums during the songs of his guest singers, I thought I wouldn't be able to contain my laughter. And that was just a light snack compared to the rest of the stuff they put us through! After church, we grabbed a quick bite and watched a movie at his work.

Sunday came and I woke up feeling very insecure about the whole dating thing. I just wasn't sure. I was so scared. I really didn't want to date unless we were getting married. He was already planning to marry me, and we barely really knew each other. Cold feet to the max. I was only 19 at the time. I hadn't expected to marry until after school and career, and maybe never. I thought I would be close to 30. I prayed about it all day. I guess I was too thick-headed to hear from the Lord. I told God that I really liked him, but I guess it was just the wrong timing. I told God that I was going to break up with him that night unless he brought me something like a plant, a flower, or even a blade of grass. I thought that would be my sign. (Like an idiot! Don't worry, I know better now!) I was depressed all day knowing I was going to end it, and I really had strong feelings for him. He was more than perfect. We had planned to meet at the campus library to study for our English class that night. When I got there, he could tell I was bummed out. He said that we would just go to his apartment to study. I thought that would be good because I didn't want to break up with him in public. He kept asking me what was wrong. We walked to his truck. He hugged me, and I felt something odd on my back. It was a yellow rose. I could not believe it! I'm so very thankful that even though I wasn't listening to God, that he was. We didn't get much studying done that night, because I told him what I had planned to do, and why I now would not be doing that. I was really settled. We hadn't even said, "I love you." and we were planning to get married. I had no doubt in my mind. Over the next few months we would say things like, “I really more than like you.” He would randomly say, “Will you marry me? Don't answer that.” I had told him I didn't need a ring, he could just get me one out of a quarter machine.

The Rest of the Story...
The next June, my parents sent me on some sort of useless errand to my aunt's house. I didn't know it, but that night, he was meeting with them to ask permission to for my hand. My mother apparently gave him a hard time. I find that funny since she is the one who was so in love with him after their Europe trip. Then it was dad's turn. He simply said, “Parents don't arrange marriages for their kids anymore, but if I had to pick one, it would be you.”

He took me back up to Cumberland Falls and recreated that first “date.” He carved our name in a tree. He got on one knee and handed me a ring out of the quarter machine. He said, “Will you marry me? Don't answer that.” Then he handed me yellow rose, and my real ring was inside. He got the yellow rose from a lady's yard in town. He went to every flower shop, but no yellow roses. It became an emergency. He remembered her yard. She had lots of different yellow roses to choose from. That bit of the story makes it even more special.(I still have that rose!)

We had planned on being engaged for over a year, but that didn't happen. We were married the next October. The thing was, we hadn't planned on an October wedding until August, so we basically planned our wedding in two-months. We got married on the mountain at sunset. It was quite non-traditional. I liked it.

Twelve and half years later I still have a big crush on him. Life gets better everyday. I remember during the second year of marriage thinking, "even the low points now are more sweet than the high points last year." And I liked that thought, because I so enjoyed the first year. We were married eight years before we had our first baby. We have three little trophies to add to our collection. All boys.