Separation of Church and State

Separation of church and state....what a concept! What a privilege to live in the land of the free!

Only one week until we gather at the voting booths, and I can hardly wait! I have always had a special interest in politics and government. I have VERY strong affiliations, and I CANNOT WAIT to exercise my right to vote next Tuesday. Probably 90% of the voters I know will cast the ballot the same way I do, but that is not good enough for me. Something bigger than the next elected haunts my thoughts on this Halloween Eve. I smell danger.

In the beginning, our nation's fathers laid the foundation of our great country implementing separation of Church and State. It's great to have government out of church business, but I believe the bigger revelation is the importance of keeping the church out of the government. Don't misunderstand me please.  I just know that God is more concerned with freedom than right and wrong.

Unfortunately the church has indulged in the tree of the knowledge of good and evil except we call it, “being right.” There is life here we are missing. Some are inappropriately using the pulpit to promote a political agenda “in the name of God.” Ummm...There is a big difference between being led by the Spirit and being led by the pulpit. Even if the pulpit is Spirit led and traveling the same river you are, no man is EVER to take the place of the inner voice inside you. Putting any man between us and God denies God of the oneness and relationship that he paid such a great price for.

Some of my most favorite people in the world have ministry titles, and if I'm honest I have to admit I am one too.   I'm for ALL people getting into politics. What I am opposed to are preachers manipulating people in the name of God from their pulpit to vote the “right” way.   I personally cannot listen to someone who trades their Sunday opportunity to share life for a political platform. It's dangerous! It's death! It's a return to bondage! 

We place people in authority and allow them to make decisions for us, speak into our lives, and tell us what to think instead of listening to that voice within us who teaches us and guides us into all Truth. Are ministers or political figures really any different than we are? Do we really put a man above us because of a title? The same God who loves them, loves us. If God himself became a man and made us coheirs with Him, why would we think it is right to place a man above us to the point we grow numb to his witness in our heart?

At the beginning of this year when the candidates blazed the campaign trail, I decided that this election year I would listen past their words and hear what they were really saying. Oh. My. Goodness. What I “heard” literally changed my life. God showed me what it means to listen with the ears of my heart. It is the same reason why Jesus heard what Simon was THINKING as the lady washed him with her alabaster and tears. I realized I had been trained to use fleshly ears to operate in this world, when really it's the senses of our heart that are the most sensitive. When you know something from the Spirit, there is no doubting. I don't need a man telling me what to think. I have ears to hear. And because I know that, I also don't feel like I have to help you think either. We all have the same God. Even if someone makes a mistake, is the freedom to err not more important than the right choice? After all, we are only free when we are free to fail.

It is a dangerous, DANGEROUS thing to allow a man to tell us what to think and how to act. It is the most seductive of temptations that inevitably has us marching around like brainwashed little puppets.   It is this way of thinking that allows the 10% to control the 90. Handing over our responsibility to another man to “hear” for us makes us question and doubt ourselves. When we doubt ourselves, we are easier to control. We become dependent on a man-made system instead of living in the Kingdom of God. We behave like we are told to behave. Say what we are told to say. Vote like we are told to vote. It makes us apathetic. It is a breeding ground for wicked rule-benders to rise and lead. We stick our heads in the sand as the few squeaky wheels take control of the masses.

Our nation was founded by a cool group of free-thinking radicals who dared to question authority and perceive that all men are created equally. Generations later we are drowning in a lake of apathy because we have been trained to let others think for us. I firmly believe more trouble comes for our nation because we the people have been desensitized by our dependency on a man to think for us and less with the political party in power. When people have confidence in their inner voice, no man, no nation, no world can rule him. We rule ourselves...A DEMOCRACY. Separation of church and state was put in place because our forefathers had a revelation of freedom...freedom in every sense...Freedom in church and Freedom in State.  TRUE FREEDOM! Ministers who use the pulpit as a political forum rather than simply sharing the love that is shed abroad in their hearts is misusing their calling/career. Bringing State matters into the church even for the “right” leads to the death of the very freedoms our nations was founded on and preached about. 

I have good news for ministers!!! Ministers are not responsible for the outcome of this election. We are not even responsible for people. Leave all that stuff up to God. We can trust Him and love them.  Encourage your listeners to listen to their inner voice. Be responsible for your message of life....not the message of right verses wrong, a.k.a the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If it was up to God we would not even know what that tastes like. Free people in church to keep our nation full of free people. A people confident in their inner man will become the strong voice in our nation, and God's kingdom will be established on the earth. It's time to regain our freedom. God's kingdom is opposite of man's kingdom. He is establishing HIS government....one that is governed by relationship and love. Yes, he really is THAT good!

I am conservative times a billion, but I didn't go eat at Chick Fillet ON PURPOSE. Why? Because my heart grieved for the people who claim homosexulaity as their identity and who Christians declare guilty. Congratulations to us church! We just built a bigger divide between God and some real people whom he loves. No wonder the world sees us like judgmental ass holes. We took a big stand against someone's behavior. Wow. We placed our “rightness” above something so clearly “wrong.” Do we really think taking a big stand at their behavior is going to change them? Do we really think our BEHAVIOR was anything more? I believe Jesus would have been hanging with the other side not to fix them, but because he loves them.  Please don't miss understand me. Maybe you ate at Chic Fillet on August 1^st just because you had a hankering for a chicken sandwich and some of those plaid potatoes. I didn't go because I didn't want to. To me a better stand would have been to proclaim the innocence of the homosexuals and buy their lunch. I didn't need a committee telling me to go or not to go. I didn't have to call up people I “submit to” to ask if I should or shouldn't go. Rejection never has or ever will introduce anyone to Jesus. The Kingdom of God is not governed like we think. Jesus made friends with the biggest sinner and traitor in town. He royally angered the people who “loved” him by being kind to someone who offended them. But when Zaccheus felt accepted and loved by Love himself, he didn't need a committee or a pulpit telling him how to behave. He woke up to Truth and said, “Whatever I have taken I will pay back four fold.” ...I'm glad Jesus didn't take a stand for what everybody else thought was “right.” He stood up for the person. That is the God I know. That is the government of the Kingdom.

November 6^th is just seven exciting sleeps away. Let's all go out and vote. What matters more than who we vote for is that we vote because we are lead from the inside out. ...Vote your instincts. We the people can do this without a man telling us what to think. This is the only way for liberty and justice for all.

Five Years With Jack

Today my Jack turns five-year-old. FIVE YEARS OLD!  In honor of my amazing five-year-old gift, I've decided to share about receiving him.   I think if I could ever write a book, a good title would be “Mothering Jack.” I just have a lot to say about being the mom to such a guy.   

Jack is such an adventure. He is the most awesomely unique, little guy in the whole wide world. It's always been “different” with Jack. I knew I was pregnant with Jack before it could even be confirmed by a doctor, and I knew he was special. Each one of our boys are special in their own right, but I often refer to Jack as our “especially special.” ...and also "Special Spectacular."

 Even in the womb, I felt like Jack would be rich and famous. When he was born we nicknamed him, “New Money.” Since his birth, I've felt like we are raising him for the world. I would hold that new born baby and ask him, “Who are you, Jack? Tell us who you are?” He just felt different. We could always tell he was cut from a different cloth. 

 

I often think of groups of people as having a flavor. Institutions to me have a scent. These “aromas” are created in my mind because people are like ingredients to a recipe that when formed together seem to taste a little differently. Jack definitely adds spice to the Blaylock Family. When he is gone, it is almost boring. (...I said, ALMOST. Anyone with boys knows that no matter what, “Boring” absolutely cannot be used to describe a household with three of them.)

Jack thinks about snow cream in July. His desire for it makes you even excited for winter. Jack really knows what he wants. It makes it a pleasure to buy him, “Underwear with sleeves” (boxers.) Jack is very intelligent. His verbal skills were amazing at 16- months. He was walking well at ten-months. 

Jack didn't really need potty-training. He just woke up one day and decided he didn't want to wear diapers any more. He's always had a remarkable understanding of numbers and money. At age four, he completed a K-1 workbook in less than three weeks without prompting from us. 

 His memory is like a steel trap. He brings up things that happened when he was 1-year-old. He remembers every food he has ever eaten, where he ate it, and who he ate it with. This is not an exaggeration. Flavors are important to Jack. He nods if his food is good. He dances if his food is exceptional. 

 

Jack notices things others just ignore. He ponders and understands things about life that is unusual for his age. He doesn't need to grow up and have babies because he already has Ben.  His vocabulary is still trying to catch up with his thoughts. He asked me last night, "Is our house breaking? Will we ever live in a different house? Well, even if our house gets really, really, really old, I just want us to always live in it."   

When you say something, Jack really listens, and can bring it up long after you forgot about it.  People who really know Jack, love Jack. When he sets his mind to something, it is as good as done. His imagination could rival a 50-year-old poet. His eyes! Even his little belly button is perfect. 

He is super hilarious. To watch him play is the best. He sincerely loves his momma. If you ask him if he is a Momma's boy or a daddy's boy, he grins really big and points to us both. He can be the sweetest, most kind, melt-your-heart, little snuggler ever. 

And sometimes I just don't know how to handle him. 
 

Even Jack's infant cry grated on me like fingernails on a chalkboard. If you don't give a good enough reason why he can't, he is going to do it anyway. “Four season in one day” is not enough moods. He can be sneaky. He is NOT a people person. He checks to see who is in charge A LOT.  Little things are turned into big deals. It shouldn't matter that the straw is yellow, but it does. And then he calls you with that sweet little voice just to make sure you are going to tuck him in at bedtime. He's edible. 

 

Even before he was born, I was worried about our “middle child.” After he was born the worry grew worse.  Then one day out of nowhere, I heard the Lord pretty much yell in my heart, “You won't treat him differently because he's the middle child. You'll treat him differently because he is different.” “Hmmm,” I thought. I wasn't even thinking about that. Then later the very same day out of nowhere again, I heard him repeat it. “You won't treat him differently because he's the middle child. You'll treat him differently because he is different.” “Um, Yes Sir. I hear you.” 

I heard him loud and clear, and that is when I began to listen....really listen.

This kid is different and the Lord said so, and it is okay that not all things are created equal at the Blaylocks. Jack couldn't even roll over yet, and already I was being prepared, trained, and equipped, to be the mother of this amazing little creature and his brothers I'm honored to get to love.

Then years pass, and I literally don't know what to do with this kid. I am at my wits end. Two toddlers and another one coming. Jack cries and I don't even think HE knows why. I cry too. I call Wayne at work. I pray. “Oh Lord! Teach me to love this child like you do.”

...the sun sets and rises again the next day and the next. I even forgot about my little prayer. Life goes on. It was just another typical day at home. Then I walk in the room where little Jack is standing. I pick him up just out of habit...obligation even. Then WHAM! BAM! HOLY (I don't have the words) GOODNESS! The creator of this child dropped a God-load of love into me and I looked at that kid and couldn't help but say, “I don't care if you are my child or not. I LOVE YOU!!!” 

Later when I told this story, I realized I was standing in the exact same spot where I had been standing the first time I heard the Lord say, “You won't treat this child differently because he's the middle....”

We surely do not have parenting down, but we have learned some pretty big lessons from a little baby Jack I would love to share with any parent of a God-given, strong-willed child.  

• If it is gray, it is black, and he needs to get in trouble. 
   
• Jack feels more safe and secure when you show him who is in charge. He actually rewards us for what we call “boot camp.” He has even thanked us for this.  It's always boot camp. 
   
• The behavior is his way of communicating what he hasn't quite learned to put into words. Listen past the noises to hear what his heart is crying about. Sometimes it is attention that can be easily fixed with asking him, “Do you want me to help you do some homework?” Sometimes he needs you to rock him to sleep. Sometimes he just needs to be allowed to kick it out alone in the bed. Sometimes he needs to help you cook something yummy.   Sometimes he needs his daddy to take him for a drive. Sometimes he needs a bath. Sometimes he needs a spanking. 
   
•  “Correction” might take some creativity. This is one of my favorites: Sometimes if we were holding on to Jack, he might jerk away from us when we say he could go.    I couldn't stand that!  I don't know how to explain it, but I felt like he wasn't at rest on the inside. He might even be in a good mood, but like I said, “if it is gray, it is black.” So if he jerked away, he would have to stand there still as I held him counted to 20 seconds or so. If he even twitched, I would start counting all over. The first time took about 10 minutes. (Checking to see who is in charge.) The second time took about 60 seconds. Now it just takes about 10 seconds, and is hardly ever needed at all. 
  
  
• Just because sometimes it doesn't look or act like us, doesn't mean it needs fixing. 
   
• A determined little guy will take a beating before giving in. (Remember determination is not bad.) Don't get mad. Sometimes spanking is not the way to handle it. Just give them time to think about what you want them to do and the consequences for not. Leave. Breathe. Then go back after the emotions have subsided and try it again. Sometimes all it takes to get compliance is just a little moment for them to think about it. 
   
• Our job as parents is to love him. Period. And in an atmosphere of love they will flourish. Parenting should feel as fun as being and aunt or an uncle. You know what I mean... Unconditional love without feeling responsible for how they turn out. They'll turn out. And who says “turning out” looks a certain way. Unconditional love is not trying to squeeze an individual into a mold created by someone else. 
   
• Being determined is gift of the Lord. Don't make the mistake to think determination is defiance. But if it is defiance, handle it. 
   
• Passiveness is not acceptable when parenting someone who feels loved when there are boundaries. 
   
• Say a lot, “You are not the boss of him. You are only the boss of You.” 
   
• There is no need to make a child share every single thing. It is perfectly fine for some things to be theirs and only theirs even if they are not using it at that moment. Especially early on, things were important to Jack. There were about five household objects determined by Jack that we allowed to be only his. It was remarkable. When he knew we would also fight for his favorite things, he shared everything else without hesitation. And soon, he didn't “need” those things anymore. He decided on his own that he would share “His” things. And that was a big day.
  
  
  
  
• God is the one responsible for our children. (Think about that....it's really difficult when you live in this world where it seems right to control your kids.)....it is NEVER okay to control. Love does have boundaries, however. I am not responsible for him. He's a gift to us because we get to be the first ones to love him. Call me irresponsible, and I'll take it as a compliment. 
  
  
   
• Rubbing Jack's back ALWAYS quiets the storm. Actually, this is how is goes: I have to remind myself that I am the parent and separate myself from the emotions of wanting to spank his rear end for crying because it is bedtime. I begin to rub his back (“Soft” his back is what my sister always called it.) Then in a soft tone right in his ear so he has to quiet down to hear I say, “Jack I will rub your back, but I'm not going to continue if you continue to throw a fit. I will give you 10 more seconds to cry, but if the crying continues after that, I will stop.” Works. Every. Time. (Except after the 10 seconds is up, there is always one or maybe two little whimpers. Then quiet. Peace. And usually sleep.) 
  

  
  

  • Sleep is VERY important.  Do not underestimate the power of sleep.
     
• Let “growing” be his timing. Trying to force anything will never work. He'll come around. He always does. Putting pressure on him to be a certain way against his will borderlines on manipulation. Don't do this to a determined little fellow...or anyone else for that matter.
   
• The more attention you pay to the problem, the longer it takes to get to the solution. 
   
• No matter if a child turns out to be George Washington, a teacher, a chef, a dishwasher, Tom Hanks, Robert Frost, Billy Graham, Peyton Manning, Eminem, or Hitler, who they are is NOT a reflection of you or your parenting style. God's first born Adam messed up too. He also had Jesus. I do believe whole heartedly that we cannot love our children perfectly when we think they are connected somehow with our identity. “Lord, Help me fully get this.” 
   
•  To think he needs teaching is a failure to learn from him.

  Every day, week, month, and year our little Jack astounds us with even more joy. He is an amazing little teacher. He continues to prove that his timing is the perfect timing simply because it is birthed out of who he is and not who we think he should be. He might not be a cookie cutter kid.....and that means he's perfect. 

He continues to answer our question, “Who are you, Jack?” and he shows us his answer, “unexplored awesomeness.” 

Looking forward to the adventure year five will bring us.  Happy Birthday to my especially special spectacular. 

 

 

Funny Friends

I love people who love to laugh. I've learned through my friend Bronda that in God's kingdom, prosperity is being rich in relationships. That is amazing to me, and I love that!

I have a friend who makes me feel very rich. She is the kind of friend that I can count on laughing with no matter what. Everything is funny to her. I blacked out laughing once.  I couldn't see and I didn't know where I was for a few seconds.  I was glad I had pulled off the road to finish our conversation.  

Laughing is a snowball effect with us. Something might win a little giggle, then the other laughs and at the one laughing and so on and so forth until we are hysterically laughing about something hardly funny at all. She is the kind of friend that I cannot eat or drink anything when she talks for fear of choking or spewing. She forgets things she says, so when I use them on her months later, she thinks I'm really funny. During one recent conversations, she told me a story that I can hardly think about without laughing. It is horrible, but I found it hilarious. 

"Natasha" told me this story about her sister, “Thelma.” Thelma married a military guy and was far away from her family when she gave birth to their child. It was a teaching hospital, so when she began to push, there was a room full of people standing at the foot of the bed observing. All were wearing blue scrubs except one man who was in regular clothes, holding a broom, and eating a hamburger. She thinks he was the janitor. Later when Thelma was walking the halls after the delivery, things felt a little too familiar when the janitor stopped caring for the floors to have a little chat with her.

The Vampire Slayer

I'm not a big fan of vampires, and I do NOT love vampire movies. But I've been thinking of them for a few months now, and have learned a lot about living from their illustration of death. With Halloween just around the corner, they seem to be everywhere except the Christmas aisles. I have even seen them in the sugar cookie section at the grocery store! With all the vampire advertising, it feels like the right time to finally share what I've learned about being a vampire slayer.  

The dictionary defines vampires as an unnatural being commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse that sucks the blood of innocent people, disturbs the living, and preys ruthlessly upon others. As I understand legend, a innocent victim becomes a vampire by being bitten by a vampire.

As the old saying goes, “hurting people hurt people.” We could easily equate people who are hurting to “Vampires.” Vampires prey on the innocent. It is who they have become, but it is not their true nature. They are an “unnatural being.” Once, they too lived in innocence until they were bitten. It wasn't their fault they were bitten. The bite was just too much. Their focus on the bite allowed venom to take over their life.  Now they are behaving in a way that is contrary to their nature, and they hurt people. From their bondage to death, they attack someone who is living. Some bites sink a little more deeply than others, but even the little ones can kill you. I once read a story about someone who used baby copperheads as fishing bait. The tiny bites didn't really hurt, but even the multiple tiny bites killed him.

It is terrible to be bitten. We were never created to be hurt. Do you know what is more terrible than the bite of a vampire? Becoming one. Focusing on the bite allows the venom to creep over you, control your life, and turn you into something you never meant to be.

I never want to be the person that brings hurt to someone else. I don't want to forsake God's reality for me by believing a lie about a vampire bite. I never want to be in bondage to darkness and live in death. Being a vampire is not who I am.   I can't fight the venom of a bite on my own, but I can keep my eyes on the prize, and the truth that already lives within me.   Life, not death, flows through my veins. There is an antidote for the death that tries to attack.

Forgiving is choosing to take the antidote. It often sounds like you are dismissing the vampire for their actions, but it is the only cure from the bite. Forgiveness doesn't make what they did okay. Forgiveness doesn't justify someone from behaving unnaturally. Forgiveness doesn't let them off the hook. Forgiveness is a force of life that drives out vampire toxins and heals the bite. Forgiveness will slay the vampire. Forgiveness releases you from the bite to the place just as if the bite never happened. This is innocence and peace.

The vampire is just a victim to a fallen system of hurt. Death, pain, bitterness, and anger fill their veins.  I'm sorry they were bitten, but that doesn't mean I have to hang out with them either. Just because we choose to walk in love, does NOT mean we allow mean people to walk over us. Walking in love means loving ourselves first. (Please don't misunderstand me.) We are taught all our lives to put others first. The airline is a perfect example of this. Before take off, passengers are trained in case of an emergency to put the oxygen masks on first before putting them on someone else. Why? Because if we are incapacitated, there is no way we can help someone else. If we don't value ourselves, there is no way we can value others the way God does.  When we see the value God has for us, we will value ourselves. And when we value ourselves, we will value others. We cannot love other people properly without first loving ourselves. The LOVELY nature of God flows effortlessly through our veins, so we are kind to people, patient with people, giving, faithful, FORGIVING, etc. etc. etc. It is HIS blood as our life-source now. Woo Hoo! LIFE flows here!

I've learned some things, and I'm not afraid anymore to take up for myself. For many years I believed letting people get away with “biting” was the right thing to do. (I'm laughing at the craziness of that!) There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. It also doesn't mean that I go looking for conflict. (After all, I am not a vampire. PEACE is MY nature.) There are easy and effortless ways to slay vampires. Love, kindness, and blessings ALWAYS shine light into their darkness. Getting mad and fighting with them only pulls you down to their level. "Be mindful of the dark side."  Stay on the high ground. None of their weapons can be used against you when you are armed with a higher way of thinking. You live in a grace bubble. Know that! This battle is only in our minds. It is not reality. We make the bite real when we believe more in the bite than in the blood that abides within us. LIFE is worth forgiving.

People I Like

I like people who are so comfortable in their own skin that they make everyone around them feel the same. They are the life of the party, but you wouldn't know it because they make the person they are talking with feel they are the most important person in the room. I know three people who are consistently this way. All are successful and well-liked.

I like people who buy school supplies even if there are no students in their home. 

I like people who are kind to elderly people even if they think no one is watching.

I like people who love classic movies.

I like people who carry bubble gum in their purse just in case they get to interact with a child that day.

I like people who rescue animals and take them in as their own. (However I am not one of those people. I prefer human strays.)

I like families who color eggs and hunt them.

I like people who walk the higher way of thinking effortlessly. You can tell who these people are because they never and I mean NEVER engage in negative talk about any person. They address issues by minimizing the problem and focusing on the solution in a way that seems there was never even a problem at all.

I like the traffic lady who looks like her traffic gestures are choreographed. People literally pull over to watch her.

I like men who open the door for their wives.

I like people who take lots of pictures.

I like kind policemen.

I like people whose kids know the words to songs on the radio when they were teenagers.

I'm sorry. I can't help it. I love Gator from Kicks Country. I'm not even a country fan, but it is worth it for me to suffer through the songs to giggle at what he has to say on my long morning commutes. I like people who find the jobs they were made for, love their work, and excel in what they love.

I like single people who cook a full meal for just one person.

I like people who value people above a doctrine. 

I like people who find their calling.  You can tell when someone does because they would do it for free and never seem to complain about it. They stand out in their field and their passion for their work is inspiring. I once met a hotel maid who inspired me. She loved her job and took so much pride in her work. She was content and happy. Sadly, I really don't know many people like this.

I like the video store guy who did a little flip with the DVD before handing the rental  over to each customer in front of me.

I like people who give homemade gifts.

I like Mario the little El Tap waiter who ran every where, never spoke a lick of English, and still remembers us even though he doesn't work at the one we frequent.

I like people who have fifty-year-old toys in their house from when their children were little.

I like people who have a heart of a teacher. After a brief conversation with them, you know you have learned something. I still feel like an expert on the Big South Fork after a two minute conversation with a Park Ranger. I also know a lot about the post office.

I like people who will give a baby to an adoptive family so the child can have a better life. And I like people who desire to adopt them.

I like the seventy-year-old lady I once saw on T.V. who stepped in front of a car to protect the children crossing the road.

I like people who have a hobby and share it with confidence, but I also like people who do it just for themselves. (Although I must admit I crave to read that giant trunk of poetry you hide in your closet.)

I like people who still keep a record player.

I like people who like to feed people.

I like people who have clean closets.

I like people who are not phased by the opinions of others because they are so focused on their predetermined goal. I happen to live with one such little man.

And I like people who consider the feelings of others to the point they are willing to lay their own aside to ensure the happiness of others. (Which happens to describe the other three men in my home.)

I like people who keep journals.

I like people who probably have a stale French fry under a car seat.

I like the teenage, drive-through order taker at Taco Bell who makes taking orders more of a conversation than placing an order.   I actually sent corporate Taco Bell a little letter about her.

I like teenage moms who are still good teenage moms despite the opposition surrounding their circumstances.

I like people who have personalized license plates.

I like people who desire peace and are not afraid of confrontation to obtain it. 

I like people who take pictures of sunsets and post them on facebook.

I like ladies who wear big, bright, bold, and beautiful bling that matches their personality.

I like people who draw pictures on napkins.

I like people who teach their children to serve people who are different.

I like dads who value their families and make hard decisions seem easy when it comes to the family well-being.

I like people who play hide-n-seek.

I like funny people.

 I love people who laugh.

Grace To Me Part #7: Ministering to People

Grace is about relationship and love. You see yourself the way God sees you, then you automatically see people the way God sees them. God sees us a pure and innocent because that is the way He is. You can only see outwardly what you possess inwardly. I believe that is why “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.” If they are pure, then they see purity of God.

And a true grace minister loves people and trusts them to hear from God themselves. They will work themselves out of a job and gladly see the people grow into a mature relationship with their Father. It is a PRIVILEGE (not a burden) to get to love God's people. They get excited to get to see God's son's waking up! The calling is love (period). And to love properly is only birthed out of the ministers soaking up love for themselves. Correcting people really is to only help them recover their sight of who they are. It is not telling them where they are wrong and continually reminding them of past failures and areas of lack. True grace ministers will do it for free just because ministry is birthed from who they are. If they make a living from it, they see is as an honor and not a right. They only want to receive from people who are free with pure hearts and those who understand their innocence, their sonship, and generously give just because they want to. GLORY!

Even when you take away the responsibility of winning the loss, it becomes even more pressure free and liberty to just enjoy people. God speaks with them first. The words you say just resonate with the Truth the Holy Spirit planted in them in the first place. When we understand the great news, we can't help but talk about it. People will either embrace the truth, or continue to kick against the pricks. Either way, it is not our responsibility. It is just something that happens from loving them.

Grace To Me Part #6: Awakening To Grace

Rest and contentment come from believing in grace. If you feel you are still searching, you simply aren't fully awake yet to who you are. No sweat. Just keep resting and know that if you seek, you will find it. Father delights in revealing it to you. The more you rest in him, the easier it is to see and hear and be lead by the Spirit.

Grace understands that emotions are a part of being born from God. We aren't controlled by our emotions, but emotions are a fruit of what we believe. I'm in love with God because of this revelation.

Grace is that God is pleased with us. We are His heaven! He is purely content with us just as we are. He is not interested in changing us to who he wishes we were. He enjoys us as is. There are no agendas. There is only relationship. Can you allow Him to love you the way He created you to be loved? If you can, then this is submission. Can you believe that?!?! Doesn't it keep getting better than we thought!!! Does this sound too good to be true? Then it sounds like God to me!

Grace to Me Part #5: Ears to Hear

A true message of grace is not one of motivation to “behave”. In fact, grace doesn't focus on behavior modification at all. Grace message revives the truth that already lives in you. The revelations you are hearing resonate with your Spirit who has and knows all things. You know it is truth because you have a hallelujah in your heart. This is a heart thing. Again, it is necessary to recognize which ears you are hearing with. Does it resonate with a doctrine of death you have been feeding your brain for years? Or does it energize you with LIFE on the inside of you? Grace empowers a rebirth inside your heart that makes you thirsty for more! When you really have Jesus (Grace) you don't thirst again. You are filled up with rivers of living water. Once you have tasted the sweet truth, there is no appetite for anything contaminated with thinking contrary to grace. Hearing even a mixed message smells like death.

Grace is something my heart understands and then transforms my thinking. When I recognize I am listening with my brain instead of my heart, I know what I am hearing is not a message of grace. This concept really can only be grasp by revelation in the Spirit. Hope you have ears to hear.

Grace to Me Part #4: The Simplicity of God's Upside Down Kingdom

The Grace message is that Jesus loves us and serves us. Not that we love and serve God. ---That is still difficult for me to admit, but what humbling, powerful, empowering truth! Woo!

The Grace message is simple. I love it that Albert Einstein said something like, “If you can't explain it to your grandmother, then you don't really understand it.” In my experience, those who complicate the “gospel” are only mudding the water so that you can't see clearly for yourself making you think you need the speaker to be your guide. News Flash! The only guide lives in the born again and leads you where you need to go. The more awake you get to his love for you, the clearer you also see.

In grace there is no hierarchy. People who see through the eyes of grace see that God's kingdom is flipped upside down. We are equal to Jesus and each other. We have all been given the same power in us that Jesus had which raised Him from the dead. We lack nothing. No man has a special anointing over someone else. Jesus is our covering. We need no man telling us what to think because we have the Spirit who is our teacher. This eliminates any illusion of “responsibility” (control) over people and frees us now to enjoy each other in true relationship. In God's upside-down, awesomely, cool kingdom, the least is the greatest, the servant is the king, the children are the wise, the ones who say they can see are the ones who are blind....do you have ears to hear that? It's my favorite to explore the infrastructure of His upside kingdom!

Grace To Me Part #3: Fruit Bearing

Grace is effortless living. This God quality of life is just what happens by accident (fruit) when we believe and awaken to who we are sons of God. Yes! Fruit happens, but it is NEVER about the fruit, it 100% about soaking up the nutrients (love) from the one in whom we are planted. Fruit comes from resting in the vine. But it is about the vine....not the fruit. To focus on the fruit is to glory in self efforts and take your eyes off the vine.

Good fruit in a person's life is birthed from intimacy with the bridegroom. The focus is on the intimacy....not to bear fruit. Bearing fruit apart from that is still a dead work even if the fruit looks good. This is very dangerous and why we must be lead by the Spirit. Eve thought the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil looked good too. I'm sure Ishmael was a handsome young lad. God said to cast out his mother and her son (fruit) simply because it came by works of the flesh. If God is not the father, he is not interested in how good the fruit (a.k.a. behavior) is. Grace is living by the Spirit.

Many have abused the principal of “If you are in grace then you will ____” (speaking of the fruit of grace.) While it is true that grace produces fruit of life in a person, most of the time I have heard it in a form of manipulation to get you to live right. Any way of thinking implying right verses wrong is eating the fruit of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Words like that are satanic. “If you are the son of God, then turn this stone into bread.” Grace will never imply that you must prove you are in grace. That is like proving I am a human. Either I am or I am not.

Grace To Me Part 2: I Am and Lack Nothing

A Grace message is about who you are and is uncontaminated with anything that implies you have to do to become. Grace sees that you have everything already. Anything that implies you have lack in your life is not the grace message. Don't believe lies that you lack something. People who think they lack are easily manipulated because they doubt the voice within them. Grace is that I have died and the me that now walks around enjoying life is really Jesus in me because we are one.

A mixed message is completely dangerous because it has enough truth in it to make it seem right to people. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death.” (Right and Wrong = death.) A gallon of water with one drop of poison still looks like water, but it will kill you. Mixers throw in the truth just to make the lies taste palatable. Jesus said a little leaven leaven the whole. It is a good thing that nothing real can be threatened and therefore we don't have to battle with the mixers. If it is not pure grace, it is not grace at all. There is one voice that matters. Hear ye Him and enjoy this life the God quality way.

Grace recognizes the completeness in Jesus. Law is something you need to do to become. This is in every area of life, not just the Leviticus laws. If you recognize law, you don't see that you already “Am.” If you think you need to do something to be perfect, then you don't know you are already. You have BEEN MADE righteous. There is no need to do anything AND I MEAN ANYTHING to become. Recognizing that you lack is not only an imagination, but will keep you bondage in your mind and lead to death. Whether a law that you can't pick up sticks on the Sabbath day to be righteous, or You have to be in a church every week to be a good Christian, or you have to help coach a football team to be a good dad. If you think you have to do to be....this is not grace. Right living is not about right and wrong any longer. There is no more sin because there is no more law that would make you guilty. To think there is still sin is to believe in an illusion that only existed before Jesus. The imagination of it is still bondage and will keep you from God-quality of life. Well, of course there are consequences to actions. DUH! But focusing on the choices will only keep you making the same ones over and over. Holy Self-Righteous Cow! The Truth is the only thing that sets people free from a life of “trying” to live right. Truth is God's perspective, not our perspective. Can you not see that “trying” to live right is the very definition of self-righteousness. We have been made righteous. I am righteous. Trying to be righteous is like me trying to be an American. I am an American because I was born here. Righteous is who I am. How could I try to be something I already am. Jesus is NOT OUR EXAMPLE! He is our LIFE. We wouldn't need him if we could try and get it right. Is this not the sweet and simple Truth?!?! Oh, and I guess I should add I automatically act like a stereotypical American. I like everything instantly. I tear up when I see an American soldier. I believe in the American dream that anybody can have success. And I always wear white socks. Nobody had to teach me to do those things. It just came because I was born here. Nobody has to teach me what loving people looks like because I was born in love.

Grace to Me part 1: God's Quality of Life.

This is Grace to me....

Grace is more than God being a good God and having mercy on his children. Grace is a COMPLETE life transformation in every single area of life. It is no longer my life, but Christ.

Grace is a celebration. It is enjoying life. It is the revelation of heaven on earth. Grace is seeing people and situations through the eyes of Jesus. It is love that compels us. And we simply enjoy. Well of course bad things still happen. We live in a fallen world. But when you see from God's perspective, you see the world differently than we were always taught. We walk fearlessly through the valley of the shadow (illusion) of death because our focus is on the still waters.

When I act contrarily to my new nature, I have just forgotten who I am. The Holy Spirit reminds us of all things---Who we are! Hallelujah! Grace is not just my relationship with my father. Grace is my life now. In the old way of thinking, I might wash the dishes because that is what I expect from me as a wife and mother. With my new nature, I wash the dishes because I want to. And I DO want to because I enjoy a clean kitchen. I enjoy sitting with my family eating on clean plates. It's quiet time where I can commune with my Father. My “want to” changed only when I rest in the Truth about who I am. His love for me is my tackling fuel.

Daily tasks are now effortless and fun...not because I HAVE to, but because it is something I do as a result of seeing and believing who I am. Can you see the difference? Who is the Father of the things you do? Even self-expectations are a fruit of the fallen world. Grace overcomes ALL of these. Jesus fulfilled ALL laws...the ones written in stone AND the ones we write ourselves on our hearts. This is exceptionally excellent news!

Grace-full Ponder

A recent ponder....  Ever wonder about the law from the Old Testament thinking verses Jesus in us and New Testament thinking?  Hope something resonates.

 

1. There is a HUGE difference between Scripture and the Word of God. Actually, I believe they are opposites because one produced death and the other life. Thank God that he loved the people of the Old Testament enough to teach them how to live safely, etc. and also bring them to a place where they could see they needed a savior. He continued to offer them relationship, but when they refused, he gave them what they wanted to show them it is really not what they wanted. The law-minded read the scripture. The Spirit-lead read the Word of God. Can you see the difference?

#2. The Old Testament wasn't bad. Jesus and Paul read the same scriptures of what the Pharisees read, but they interpreted love from it. They saw it from a higher perspective. Now that I understand grace, I also read the Old Testament and see grace. For example, Song of Solomon taught me that maturity is to say, “God loves me.” Immaturity is to say, “I love God.” Job is about Jesus. The reason Cain’s sacrifice was rejected is because his offering was a fruit of his toil. God always intended for our sins to be paid for by another. Thank you Jesus for grace-filled revelations from the Old Testament!

#3. However, when we look at the Old Testament from the perspective of right and wrong, this will produce death. Right and wrong is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It’s the focus on the behavior (or the fruit) rather than the source of life that feeds the tree. Our actions must never be lead by the “right thing to do.” We are lead by the Spirit. The action may be the same….The written law says no potty in the kitchen. The Spirit won’t lead us to put a potty in the kitchen. But who is the father of that fruit or action? The law or the Spirit? If it is birthed from the thinking that you MUST DO TO BECOME...You are committing adultery on the Bride Groom with the one he freed you from.  I could literally dance around the house when I think about that!  GOOD NEWS!

I LOVE this next one...

#4. This is a revelation that saved my life: Grace does not empower us to do the law. Grace is not the ability to behave. Grace has ZERO to do with behavior. I think this is what was meant by “having a form of Godliness but denying the power.” This is how I might explain it…We need to get to Australia to save our life. It’s impossible to swim there. So Jesus brought us back Life (His life) on a big cruise ship. Now all we must do to have his quality of life is to hop aboard and enjoy the ride. Mixing the gospel would be like thinking we now can swim the pacific with WWJD on our water wings. While Jesus sails on his cruise ship beside us cheering us own. No! If you are swimming, He’s hollering out, “come and rest and let us enjoy this life in relationship together.” Swimming makes you look like a champ to people watching from the shore, but you look like an idiot to the people in the boat.

#5. The written law came with Moses, but actually, law entered hearts with Adam. It is a mindset that, “I can become if I do.” Everyone agrees that our “doing” has nothing to do with our righteousness before God, but I tell you any tiny drop of that belief for ANY area of our life is poison. If you think you have to do something to improve, grow, press-in, be, etc...then you do not understand that you already ARE. I AM because HE “AM” (Sorry grammar girls.) Together WE ARE! Yes and Yes!

#6. Some people use pretty words that make the law sound right. But I tell you that there is a way that seems RIGHT to a man, but in the end... yep, = death. Let God be true and every man a liar! You know you hear the truth because you get a hallelujah in the heart. I like to call it a “flip flop” in my heart. Even if it is the “right” doctrine from man, but there is no hallelujah, I disregard it. Truth MUST come from the right heart. ( I personally think this is because it is revelation that is communicated more than mere words.) Even Satan used words that were truth. Satan’s “right doctrine” was the bait. If you see it as right or wrong, you are focusing on behavior/fruit instead of enjoying life that feeds the tree. You see Scripture and not Word. You hear with your fleshly ears instead of the ears of your heart. This is the knowledge of good and evil.

#7. Stop and think about this statement for about five seconds:  “Wisdom (a.k.a Good advice) will help you improve your life.”  Think.  Think.  Think.  Think.  Think about what you are thinking about.   

Can you hear it? What happened in your heart when you read that? This is subtle trouble. “Improving your quality of life” sounds good to the fleshly ears. Please open your ears and hear! If YOU think YOU can DO something to improve your life, JESUS WOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO COME! It’s all or nothing, my friends. Just pick hot or cold. Luke warm tastes disgusting. To think you need improving is to still think you lack something. You must now DO something to become or improve---live Godly.  It’s poison! It is this very way of thinking that lead Adam to take a bite of that apple to become somebody. He already was somebody but thinking he lacked KILLED US. Again I ask you, who is the Father of this fruit/behavior? Abraham had to cast out the Bond Woman AND her fruit. Was she a bad person? No way, but it wasn’t the promise. Abraham did that in his own efforts. Look at the death he produced. God created the promise in a womb that was once dead. Ga-lory! Just like Jesus becoming the sin and law and dying, then raised to life. And we have the same power within us. Not to live the law, but to have LIFE. We can learn to know if we are listening with the ears of our heart or the ears of our head. It's like a switch. Which ears are you listening with?

#8. When people focus on their behavior at all, they fall into the trap, “I must do to become.” They begin to doubt the voice in them and think they must rely on a man to tell them how to think and act toward God. This is a dangerous thing. They become sin/self/fruit-conscious instead of God-conscious. It happens even in grace circles. This is not one bit different than the Hebrew children sending Moses up on the mountain to hear from God for them. So sad because it hinders relationship and LIFE even if they know God is not mad at them.

#9. It is this belief system that Jesus abolished. It used to bother me that Jesus took a whip into the temple, but now that I see, I ADORE him for it. He was crashing the belief system because they were imputing that system onto people. Believe what you want, but don’t you dare mess with God’s kids and make them think they are not enough. Jesus fulfilled all the written and unwritten law. Where there is no law there is no sin. And let's face it. Sin like people think of sin is only fruit of unbelief. That's it. When we tell them the truth, they have the information that will help them believe. They already have the Truth on the inside.  Sometimes they need to hear it from another so they can hear it in their heart.  They will see who they are and they will stop producing the “bad” fruit.

#10. Thank God he loves us and doesn't enforce HIS system on us either. He allows us to choose… What a fabulous Daddy! What a fabulous bridegroom!

#11. Please allow me to give a very practical example of what I'm talking about. Nowhere in the Scripture does it say that I must have the house clean, kids clothed, and supper on the table by 6:00. But I thought I did. This was an expectation I had on myself. A law was written on my heart. The thought that, “If I want to be a good mom and good wife, this is what I must do.” It caused frustration. Negative emotions always mean there is a law somewhere in your heart. The pressure I placed on myself leaked into our whole family. Is it considered wisdom to keep the house clean and cook supper? I tried to use grace to fulfill those responsible tasks to help me become the mom I should be. (Sounds crazy to me now.) The actions themselves are a blessing to our family, but it was causing death in the peace and relationships of our home. There was no life. If I didn’t get it done, I felt guilty and condemned. I felt less than. If Wayne came home and began to help me, I became offended because it was just a reminder that I couldn’t do “my” job. It wasn’t until I understood grace and cast that “law” into the sea that life was allowed to enter. My value is not placed on what I can do. My value is not even based upon the behavior of my kids. I allow myself to be pampered and served and loved by the Lord and simply out of that enjoyment, I do stuff. I know I don’t have to do it, but I want to. That is the difference. Cooking supper is fruit from love and value I have for myself and my family. Now there is rest and peace. No pressure. There is contentment with or without a messy house. This is life of the God kind. The actions are the same, but one way of thinking produced the fruit with death. The other produced the fruit with life. This is what Grace is….not the ability to do law. It is believing and resting and finding our true value…our life hidden is his, one with him. We are valuable because he loves us. Not because we can do stuff. “Apart from Him, I can do Nothing” You know what that word “nothing” means in the Greek? ----“NOTHING”

#12. Wisdom is Innocence. Does that resonate?

Pied Piper

This came into my head during my commute today.  It is a poem about the same mindset that Jesus drove out of the temple.

Pied Piper

Pied Piper, You try to tickle my ears.
In my heart I hear truth.  Your words are not real.
Your music is deceiving and played with such skill.
It sounds good for a season, but eventually kills.

Pied Piper, your flute sings a reasonable song.
The lyrics sound right, but your heart makes them wrong.
I see you entertaining.  Your motives are clear.
You think people are puppets and you their grand puppeteer.

Pied Piper, you increase the volume skillfully loud.
It drowns out relationships to draw a big crowd.
You seem very talented, but you play only games.
You love your own life and lead others astray. 

Pied Piper, you smile, but I see your tears.
You trust in your music because Truth makes you fear. 
You march to your stanzas but desire to rest.
You entice the innocent to validate your quest.  

Pied Piper, you kiss the instrument of death.
You are just like the victims you sing to impress.
Have faith and don't doubt. Cast your flute to the sea.
Decide this is useless and you have no needs.

Pied Piper, you are deaf.  Can you  not hear my song?
It comes from the one to whom you also belong.
My heart rings with life from a live symphony.
I dance WITH a lover to its Truth melodies.

Pied Piper your analysis of me is all wrong.
It's not a rejection if I don't dance to your song.
Tune in your real ears!  How I wish you could see!
You're worth more than your music.  You are loved and set free. 

Life With Boys Part 2

Life with Boys  The Sequel.   The fun never ends...

1. Boys have the best imaginations EVER.  Once I watched them work together to build a big bond fire in our living room.  Brown pillows were the logs, and red pillow shams with multicolored thin stripes were placed on top for the fire.
   
   
2. My rough and tumble boys still like soft things. Everybody likes to sleep by me especially when I wear silky PJs. Jack used to be sort of possessive over soft pretty pink things so I made him pinky promise me when he was two that he would never kiss a girl until he got married.
   
   
3. Boys growl and roar.
   
   
4. Boys have this "tough guy" tone I'm fascinated with when they communicate about stereotypical-boy things like cars or sports. They all do it as soon as they can talk.
   
   
5. Boots and cape required.  Underwear optional.
   
   
6. Boys wrestle. Then they wrestle some more.  And when they greet each other, they wrestle.  And when it is not wrestling, it is playing "punch" or just a good hearty tackle.  They are even born knowing what to wear for this bonding experience.....Pants (or underwear.) No Shirt.  Socks on their hands.
   
   
7. Quote #539:  "Don't clean up this pile, Mom.  It's special."
   
   
8. How do boys under six know how to talk "army"?
   
   
9. Boys greet other boys they love with punching or tackling. My boys always punch their uncles when they first see them.
   
   
10. I heart superhero underwear.
    
    
11. Boys ALWAYS try to turn an ordinary task into a game. For example, "Come and let me put on your shoes." Might turn into a chase. They see how close they can get to you then run away screaming to see if you'll chase them. After they see your not in the mood to play, they'll comply.
    
    
12. When boys approach you, they stop about three feet away from you and then jump the remaining distance. All my boys do this.  Every. Single. Time.
    
    
13. Beans = tackling fuel.
    
    
14. What Mom says is considered.  What Daddy says is law.
    
    
15. Boys will obey for safety that is explained logically, but they don't have a real sense of danger.  They think that the reason they busted their head on the ground was just a fluke, and therefore will hang upside down in the swing immediately again with their dirt-stained tear streaks still fresh on their faces.
    
    
16. Boys love naked time.
    
    
17. Boys wander.  We are constantly reminding them to stay close.  After number three, Wayne said we went from man to man to zone coverage.
    
    
18. I'm not proud of this, but all my boys have at least one chipped tooth, and my four-year-old is mithing two from rough-housing.
    
    
19. Boys thinks it's funny when their mama says bad words.(Bungle. Dumb. Butt.---you know.  The real badies.)
    
    
20. Even boys like bubble baths and candles lit by the tub.
    
    
21. Boys have a fascination with their special part that I do not understand. That's all I'll say about that except that when Ben-dudey was born, the doctor said, "Looks like another machine gun!"
    
    
22. Where there is a boy in your bed, there will also be sand.
    
    
23. In a house of boys, it is inevitable to have feet on the table.
    
    
24. Oh it's not just an inner tube, it's a force field.
    
    
25. Parents of boys say things like, "Well, we're just not allowed to take weapons into Wal-mart.  You'll have to leave your quadruple-iron-headed spear here in the truck."
    
    
26. Never, and I mean never look under the car seat. And the worst is when you have to remove one to let someone ride with you.
    
    
27. Embarrassing quote #757:  "Is that a mole or a nipple?"
    
    
28. My boys have no concept that people get sick and die.  Six-year-old Luke had never even heard of the word, "disease."  Obviously the only real explanation for death is that, "he must have eaten a mushroom from the woods."  The mushrooms from the store are okay though.
    
    
29. Even if they don't admit it, boys like girls.  My baby daddy had a, "girls aren't so bad" talk with them that produced the top ten best girls list.  Yep.  Yours Truly made number one and the rest of the gals on the list should feel mighty proud too.  It was well thought out.
    
    
30. A mother who raised four boys recently made a comment that brought freedom to my inner most being...."We didn't have company for TEN YEARS!"  ...Yes! I know why!!!!
    
    
31. Nobody quite "gets" you like a family with boys.  Love my friends who parent little little engines fueled by testosterone.  I feel at rest with them because, "they know how it is."
    
    
32. Manners are a privilege for boys to have, and it brings a sense of honor to them when they use them.  The best is when manners are used inappropriately.  Like parents may be in a serious conversation with another adult.  Boy passes gas that no one would otherwise ever know about, then you hear, "Pardon Me!  I pooted."  REALLY loud.  We try to teach them to say pardon me only as loud as the gas itself.  (That's handed down from Don Bohannon.)          Or how about this classic...
    Parent--- "Ben, come and help me pick up these toys please."    Ben-- "No thank you."     or maybe    when one says "Yes, Sir" to a lady who looks like a sir. 
    
    
33. To quote the Coach from the Boys home at the Mustard Seed Ranch, "If you have one boy, you have one boy working.  If you have two boys, you have half a boy working."  ----Could not be more true.  His math skills are impeccable.
    
    
34. Daddys of boys FINALLY have somebody who will play with them.
    
    
35. No matter what age...boys can EAT!
    
    
36. Classic example of Blaylock Boy conversation: 'There are two reason why a terror bird won't poop on our car.  They can't fly and they are dead."
    
    
37. Boys are natural protectors.
    
    
38. A ball is the most destructive force found in a house full of boys. AND the only real toy a boy needs.
    
    
39. Parents of boys say things like, "That was really amazing, but don't ever do it again."
    
    
40. Brothers love their brothers.
    
    
41. When should you clip a boy's fingernails?  When they are long enough to stay dirty even after a hot soaking bath.  My personal favorite is when you clip the nail and the dirt stays on as is so it has to be knocked off.
    
    
42. Boys get REALLY excited to show their brothers something amazing.  A cool trick.  An awesome toy.  A pile of poo.
    
    
43. Sleeping boys are the best snugglers.
    
    
44. The crawl space under the register at the grocery store is The Bat Cave.  Just F.Y.I.
    
    
45. It's fun to have a house full of boys and even more fun to talk about it with other parents who live in a house full of boys. 
46. Parents of boys are exhausted....and happy.

Looking forward to my house full of boys tomorrow. 

Life With Boys Part 1

I think very often about my life and how it is probably different from at least half of the world. I have boys. Boy oh Boy! I was raised with two brothers. My dad is a great dad. I'm married to a grown-up boy. But now I see that being a mom to boys is a world I was not really prepared for, as if one could be prepared for any sort of parenting. I have come to realize that any household where the female species is outnumbered by at least two males is a much different environment to one where the genders are equal or there are more females. When my boys were smaller, it used to aggravate me that people would stop me and say things like, "Three boys? I bet you have your hands full." or "I raised three boys too. I feel for you, Mama." I heard a whole lot with a pat on the back: "There is a special place in heaven for a mom with three boys." Although I liked that last one, I would think they didn't really know what they were talking about. I knew my boys were good and just as active as any other kid, girl or boy. When I only had two of them, my mom gave me a quote to put on my wall that says, "Boys: n. A noise with dirt on it." I thought it was cute, but at the time when they were just little toddlers, it didn't really mean anything. Um.....now I know! All three of my boys are still preschool, but they can all walk and talk very well. I understand more of why others felt the need to pat me on the back. They are all three still really good, but they are bigger, heavier, more active, and sweat testosterone. The more boys you have, the more the boy-ness is compounded in the next boy and it becomes this strange snowball effect of testosterone. It is puzzling how this happens, but I can tell you I am experiencing an avalanche.

I. HAVE. BOYS! ...and I love it.

Aren't they cuties!

I do sometimes wonder if Father God thought it would be really funny to give me three little boys without a teenage girl first, but like I tell my boys, "You get what you get and don't throw a fit." Oh how I wish I had a teenage girl, even better would be one around nine or ten. It's okay though because I have good ones that I rent from time to time. Wayne is home with them now while I get to work and that is blessing for both of us. Life now is just what the doctor ordered. I can see how and why he set things in motion for our life in this moment. This switch-a-roo has been the best thing for our whole family. I am very thankful. I can already see a difference in all of us.

These are a few things I have learned so far about bringing up boys:

1. Boys really are dirty and loud. My boys even color loud. (Is that possible? I assure it is reality.)

2. Boys run and don't walk.

3. Boys are born with a natural ability for sound effects with their mouths that include but are not limited to all motors, guns, passing gas, and trains.

4. Oh, You are one of those moms who don't believe in buying your boys toy weapons? You can forget that, because they literally don't need them. There are plenty of regular household items that make guns, swords, and a plethora of other fun weapons. Guns are made from things like bananas, 3D alphabet letters("F" is a perfect gun if you hold it horizontally,) and really elaborate guns with multiple barrels are easily constructed from tinker toys. Swords? You name it. Umbrellas, curtain rods, and wooden spoons... Well of course you can't have a sword without a shield! No problem. Trash can and pot lids. Very often I go upstairs to the weapon arsenal A.K.A lower bunk bed stripped from all bedding and loaded with weapons of all shapes and sizes strategically placed. Gasp! Do you teach them this? ....nope. Boys are born with this.

5. Boys speak a unique language. We often get to use fun vocabulary words in everyday conversation such as, "Portal, vortex, secret-passage-way, booby trap, butt-ticks, and bungle." (Bungle is actually a bad word they made up that we think means, "bung hole.")

6. NEVER, and I mean NEVER, buy a new couch.

7. Invest stock in Magic Erasers. Use them to clean up the messes you can. Treasure the memories of the ones you can't. From personal experience I can tell you that these little cleaning devices even work on faces. Yes...I have used a magic eraser on a face. It was an emergency. When Luke was two-years-old, he decided he needed to use a permanent red marker to draw stripes on his face just before we were headed out for something important where permanent red on the face would be disastrous. It even went across his eye-lid. I tried all the gentle stuff first. Soap would not touch it. I even tried alcohol to no avail. So I pulled out the magic eraser. I rubbed it on my face first and it felt ok. It took the red right off, and he never complained once. I guess I wouldn't make a habit of it, but in emergencies, you got to do what you got to do.

8. Boys love their mamas, but they need their dads or a least some significant boy time with a grown up who understands how they think. My boys have a great dad, fantastic grandfathers, and really cool and fun uncles.

9. It's a good thing I read "Bringing Up Boys" by Dobson. I really didn't love that book, but I did learn some valuable things about being a boy mama. I'm sure Dr. James is a nice guy and has helped a whole lot of peep, but this book was a real Debbie Downer. I guess we all walk in the light that we have, but parts of this book literally made feel guilty for bringing a child into this world. That was unnecessary in my opinion. However, I did learn something very important. Boys go through two developmental stages whereas girls go through one. Girls and boys both go through puberty, but boys go through one between ages 18 months or so to five years (I think) where they make a mental separation that they are different from their moms and begin to identify more with the males they are around. All three of mine are in this age. What a blessing that their dad is willing to stay home with them during this time. There has been a huge difference in our little guys since the big guy took on the primary parent role.

10. Boys can only think about one thing at a time. If they are busy and do not respond to your voice, touch them and speak. They literally may not hear you. They are wired differently.

11. Don't try to tell two or more stories at one time. You just confuse and frustrate them. Their brains do not multitask like girl's brains. You'll just end up trying to explain yourself or repeat both the stories again separately. Just simplify stories the first time to save you all the trouble.

12. If it can be climbed on, it will be climbed on. If it is impossible to climb, it will also be climbed on.

13. Boys are confident to accessorize their outfits and costumes. Machine guns in their underwear. Capes and rain boots any time. Swords always, even when they have nothing on but a bath towel. One time we were about to eat spaghetti for supper and Jack insisted on putting on different clothes. I didn't want this because I knew whatever he wore would get sauce all over it. I thought he might as well wear the dirty one that he had on. But I allowed him to change. When he returned to the table, he was shirtless, sporting a sword tucked in his pants, a Spiderman web launcher on one wrist, shin guards, wrist guard, and elbow guards, 9 jelly bracelets, and a camouflage hat.

14. Everything and I mean everything is a train or can be converted easily to one. Sound effects, remember, are included in the boy.

15. "Punch" is quality time for the male species and must be done shirtless with socks on the hands. And you have to say, "ding, ding" before the first punch in thrown. It occurs on the king-sized mattress with all bedding piled into the floor around the bed.

16. Sometimes there literally are not words I can find to say and all that I can muster to come out is, "Aaaaaaaah!"

17. The dryer makes an excellent hiding spot.

18. Everything is a competition. When I say everything I mean everything. Even the day a person was born. According to my boys, Ben has a better birthday because he was born on July 22, and 22 is bigger than June 3 or October 12. ...I'm not kidding.

19. Apparently, boys never stop growing. If you are 60, you are "bigger" than someone who is 40. This is very important to four-year-olds in ways I cannot explain.

20. A king bed is not big enough.

21. Expect the unexpected like matchbox cars in your lab coat pocket. Name writing practice on nutritional assessments. Treasure map drawings on that bill you were fixing to mail. Toothpicks in the cracks of tables. Any small item you've misplaced for weeks will be under the seat of a riding toy. Or my personal favorite...Mr. Potato Head's arm in the electrical socket. Oh. My. Gosh!

22. Cranky. Noun. Messed up or imperfect. As in, "The creased paper is cranky." or "Jack made my bed cranky, and I already made it up."

23. Brothers LOVE. They are only an average of 18 months apart. They are very close. They might get mad at each other, but they love each other more than they love anything. Watching them is a sight to behold and lesson for sure.

24. Boys make up games that mamas do not find funny. Seriously, sometimes I just have to leave the room. Wayne taught them how to spray the wood floor with a little furniture polish and slide with sock feet. (I'm cuss-laughing under my breath.) "Oh it was safe before you got home. We slid into pillows and blankets."

25. Boys jump and swing on everything, but especially other people. It was cute and hardly noticeable when they were just little toddlers. Now that the combined weight is over a hundred pounds, I have to stay on my toes. If I bend down to pick up something off the floor, I can most likely expect at least one of them to pounce on my back. Never turn your back to a boy who is on a higher elevation than you are. Be ready if they are above you on the stairs coming down. Oh they'll get you when you least expect it.

26. Boys teach you how to let things go and just enjoy life. Just what I needed.

27. It doesn't matter how old the boy gets. Farts are ALWAYS funny. So funny in fact they will lose their breath laughing. In fact, the funniest thing on the planet is anything that has to do with bodily functions.

This precious laughy picture was made possible because Ben ripped a big loudy just as Jack laid his head down on his rear.

28. Nothing is sweeter than a little boy snuggle bug. One time I was woken up because Luke gave me a kiss as he was snuggling in our bed. I couldn't even tell who it was until I asked the next morning.

29. "More Powerful" is used to define rank. For example, Daddy is more powerful than Mama. Luke is more powerful than Ben. Jack is more powerful than the bug.

30. "A little bit fast" means slow.
"A little bit loud" means quiet.

31. Boys just know how to sword fight, upper cut, and be crass. Teaching is required to undo these things.

32. Boys know how to do things I don't understand how or why. Like, Why did Luke tell me that I needed to get gasoline to help me get the paint off counter?

33. "Superheros go to weddings."

34. Expect on-purpose tumbles and falls complete with sound effects and exaggerated movements like you might see in a animated cartoon. This is done for personal satisfaction of the boy, and an offering of entertainment for the observer. Kramer is an over sized five-year-old.

35. No matter where you are, they will find the race track. Running in circles through rooms and around furniture is just part of the daily routine and as natural as breathing.

36. Boys are worth it. They are my greatest teacher.