This is a good one....
Wayne came home one day and simply said, “You know how in the Bible it says for wives to submit to your husbands? That word submit really means to allow yourself to be loved.” Fireworks went off in my heart. It was like the missing piece to a puzzle I didn't know I was missing. There was a revelation download in my spirit, and all I could think to say was, “God you really, really are so very good.” My life has never been the same. Our marriage was good, but now it is bliss.
There was a time that if Wayne had ever said, “You need to submit,” it would have been World War 3. But now when he says it, it is like dirty talk.
The Bible tells us to “submit to one another as unto the Lord.” One of the revelation chunks that plopped into my spirit was what it means to submit to the Lord. I always thought it meant, “obedient.” And yes, it could be interpreted that way, but it is not the most correct way. Submission to Lord is to allow him. It is to lay down my opinion and submit to his. Song of Solomon is a perfect example of this. That beautifully written book is Jesus loving on his bride, the church. At the beginning of it, she doesn't feel worthy to be loved even though he tells her she is. She says things like, “He is my beloved.” He continues to love on her and by the end of the book she has submitted and says, “I am my beloveds.” A mature person can submit. The Song of Solomon shows how she matures as she submits. At first her thinking is what she can do to love him, but at the end she realizes her love is no comparison to his great love and so she gets over herself and allows him to love her and that is exactly what he wanted. AWESOME!
When Jesus washed the disciples feet, he was serving them. He was loving them. Peter had a hard time humbling himself to submission. He didn't feel worthy enough to have his Lord Jesus wash his feet, but Jesus said that if he did not allow himself to be served by him, then he could not have any part with him. It is humbling to lay down our opinion and submit to ourselves to Jesus. We must allow him to serve us. This is another Kingdom principle that is opposite to our thinking. The servant is the greatest of all. The King of Kings is the servant. That's a tough one for me to swallow, but I am learning to submit. Everyday I am learning to come boldly before him and allow him to love me the way that he created me to be loved. Consequently, the more I submit, the more I will I will mature and the more I will love others the way I know I am loved.
So it says, “Wives submit to your husbands.” Our whole marriage changed because of this revelation. It is difficult to put into words, but I'll give an example. I am a stay-at-home mom and therefore I put expectations on myself as to what I thought that meant. I made goals for myself which were never accomplished. So if Wayne came home after he had worked all day and started washing the dishes, I would feel inadequate like I was not good enough to get my job done so he had to do it. Now I didn't say anything to him. I let him wash the dishes and was thankful for it, but all the time feeling bad about myself because I couldn't get it done. There was a pressure in our house that we were unaware of. Was Wayne washing the dishes because he thought I was inadequate? No! He was trying to help me. He was trying to show me he loved me. So now I have learned to submit to him. Whatever he wants to do for me, I let him. I now receive things as love. It is the job of the wife to be the receiver. God created us that way. Eve's purpose for being created was to be loved. The more love we receive, the more love is birthed from us for everyone else. The pressure disappeared in our marriage. We even noticed a change in our boys. Peace reigns in our home because we submit to one another.
We have learned about the different love languages and how different things communicate love loudly. Although my primary love language is words of affirmation, I can now speak all the other languages fluently so I receive love in every way. So if Wayne touches me, I “hear” love. If he wants to serve me, I “hear” love. If my boys want to spend time with me, I “hear” love. Or if they make me a gift out of tinker toys, I “hear” love. It is amazing how this revelation of submission changed every aspect of my life.
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